A very interesting conversation with my fourteen year old daughter compelled me to write about some realities of life. It began with: "Mom, do you sometimes still get a crush on other boys -- even though you're married to dad?"
The answer is, of course, yes, but I did caution her a crush is just that, and no more -- like staring at Channing Tatum or Matthew McC. on the big screen. What a person has inside their marriage far exceeds anything ever received from a crush.
Sometimes a crush is a meeting of the minds -- it's not even physical, just a compatibility of thoughts making you feel great. Other times, a crush is all about lust and excitement occasionally taking a break in a long marriage. My husband and I have been married for sixteen years and together for a total of twenty-one.
She asked me if I thought it was wrong to have a crush when you are married. Absolutely not. In my experience, it adds a bit of excitement back into your marriage to realize someone out there still "wants" you. In the back of your mind, remembering you are with the only man who accepts and loves you exactly as you are -- even on the bitchy, bad-hair days -- is heady stuff.
And, that is where the power of a crush loses it's hold -- with the knowledge no one will ever love you as whole-heartedly as the man you chose to marry. The man who devoted himself to you. Cares for you. Raises children with you. Provides for you. Has seen you at your worst and lifted you to your best.
At the end of our conversation, she simply nodded her head and said, "Hmm. So that's how it works. I've been wondering for a while now."
:)
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