Anti-Bullying Awareness Day

A friend of mine made a thought-provoking status wondering how wearing pink prevents bullying.  There were many comments under his status of kids who have been bullied.

Bottom-line?  A colour changes nothing. All it brings is awareness to a growing societal issue.  Unfortunately, I believe we've taken away our children's right to defend themselves with the zero tolerance for physical violence.  The child being bullied gets suspended right alongside the bully if there is a physical altercation.  This is wrong.  There should be no consequences for defending yourself.  Particularly if the school has been made aware of the situation. 

My youngest daughter had an issue in grade 6 that progressed from innocent disagreements to a nasty, little bully hitting the brick wall of this mom, but  later attempted many underhanded ways to get even.

It began with the odd jealous text when my daughter would be hanging out with other friends.  This girl lived in a different neighbourhood and couldn't simply walk over to play.  Finally, after several such texts, each one nastier, my daughter reacted by telling her to quit being a jerk.  That's it.  The truthful comment that started it all.  My daughter ignored her texts for the rest of the day.  Proper thing.

The following morning, this kid begins to "spam" text my girl.  She started with an apology but when Darian didn't reply, she went back to the jealous texts.  Darian brought her phone to me.  I identified myself, asking her to stop.  This child had the gumption -- if not the brains -- to continue her dialogue with me.  I refused to respond and called her mother to request that her child knock it off.  While the child no longer texted my girl, this is not where the story ends.

She continued at school by attempting to draw other kids into her hatred towards my daughter, until her mother accosted me in the hallway after school saying her child was coming home in tears because mine was being mean.  All right.  I told her I'd investigate.  Meanwhile, both of our girls came over to wait for the conversation to finish.  This girl got upset with me, saying she was sorry and didn't understand why Darian no longer wanted to be friends.  Really???

This is a little pearl of wisdom all parents should pass on to their children, and I passed it on to this young lady that day:  Saying you are sorry doesn't erase the hurtful things you have done.  Your actions will.  And your actions have not changed.  It was at this point, her mother hung her head and the conversation ended.

After that, I did my research.  I spoke to kids, teachers and the vice-principal.  NONE of them had seen -- or heard -- anything my child had supposedly done or said.  The next time she lashed out at my child at school, it was dealt with on a higher level until she quit attempting to get at Darian directly.  However, there were a couple other girls who attempted similar stunts because of the original altercation, and they were shut down without involving the school, parent-to-parent.

You know the truly sad part of this story?  This young lady continues these antics with other kids, while her parents sit idly by, assuming it is the other child's fault.  They are completely unwilling to acknowledge their daughter has issues.  They are unwilling to give her discipline.  Ultimately, this girl is the one who will be hurt.  She will become a mean-spirited adult who thinks she can do exactly as she pleases.  That hurting others is okay as long as she gets what she wants.

Bullying begins at home with a lack of consequences and parental awareness.

Parents, please involve yourself with your kids.  Know what's going on.  Sit and watch them in their group when they are unaware of your presence.  Don't assume your child is an angel.  Be aware of their faults, strengths and weaknesses.  

Sometimes kids DO need to solve their own issues.  But don't let them try to handle these types of situations alone with only a school system for back up. After all, schools have limited disciplinary measures.  Don't be afraid to jump in feet first and deal with it parent-to-parent before your child is driven to desperate measures.  Better a little confrontation than a tragedy. 

The Love of Hockey

In Canada, there is one single sport drawing nearly all of us with its brilliant flame -- hockey.  Some of us don't follow it religiously.  Many do.  Some merely follow the NHL play-off games.  Some only pay attention to Olympic hockey.  Any way you look at it, Canadians love their hockey and will get involved on some level to cheer for our players.

The recent Olympic Games are a perfect example of that.  The games we relish the most are against the United States of America -- there were over a million of us watching the Canadian vs. USA games on Thursday and Friday.  At work.  In malls.  In bars.  Home.  Wherever we could get the game.  There's a couple reasons for this intense rivalry.

First and foremost:  it's our game.  The first organized game was played in Montreal in the late 19th century.  We've owned this game for many years -- until USA figured out how to maintain ice in their warmer States and realized it was a multi-million dollar adventure.

Second:  USA is like the oldest sibling who is used to winning.  Used to receiving more accolades.  Used to looking down their noses at the rest of the siblings because they are bigger and stronger.

Third:  Canada is like the youngest sibling, if you will.  We are the nice, little pain in the ass.  The jokester.  The fun country who willingly helps others without causing war and strife -- and for this we are often lauded as a very pleasant people.  In fact, other countries often remark on the fact Canadians are too nice.  My reply has always been they have not pissed us off yet.  We don't fight unless we can back it up, then we will quietly kick your ass -- with a smile.  Yet another tribute to us.  We do just about everything with a smile.  After all, life was meant to be enjoyed.

The other part of hockey we love, is the after-game ribbing.  We good-naturedly tease and torment one another with some vicious slams.  There are crying towels to be "thrown" at our opposition.  There's better luck next time because we know -- at some point -- our favorite team is going to triumph over yours.  We enjoy our verbal tormenting of one another -- win or lose.  We've got the comments worked out in our heads already -- win or lose.  Why?   It's all a part of hockey culture.  Our game.

Unfortunately, Americans take our game far too seriously.  They don't have fun with it -- it's only about the win.  Which is why they hit the brick wall of Canada's hockey team, even though most of their best players are trained here, on Canadian soil, by Canadian coaches.

Both games were absolutely amazing -- particularly the women's.  USA was kicking our asses -- until the last few minutes of the third period where we miraculously tied it up and stole it out from under them in over time.  The US goalie threw her stick off to the side.  You won't see Canadians pull this kind of poor-sport antic.  We may be pissed that we lost, but we will smile and say "good game".  There was also the alleged incident in the 2002 Olympics where the US women were said to have thrown our flag on the locker room floor and stomped on it.  Our reply was "would you like us to sign it for you?"

Humor is Canada's crowning character.

After this amazing game between the women, the men were up to play against USA.  It was a running joke on social media the men needed to play like girls.  And play like the girls, they did.  They held a 1-0 lead for most of the game.  It was a beautiful game.  No matter which side of the border you sit on.

This is where the difference between Canadians and Americans becomes crystal clear.  Canadians were still having fun with this -- in true Canadian style.  We threw insults out there such as:  how do you make an American cry?  Canadians win.  Again!!  And, USA got their heavy metal colours mixed up; forgot which colour was the best one.  Among so many others it's impossible to count.

Unfortunately, Americans sulk when they lose.  They say nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  There were no good-natured rants that came our way.  No replies to any of our ribbing.  No smart-mouth comments.  No "we'll get you next time".  Not even a "good game".  Nothing.  Only silent pouting...  No doubt, their social media is full of insults -- but they don't have the balls to direct them at any Canadians.  Why?  They know we are full of good-natured slams.  They know we taught them this game.  They know it belongs to us.  They know we will win the verbal assault -- just like we did the Olympic hockey game.

To which I say:  that's the game; suck it up, Princess!

Because, after all, it is just a game.  It's not a war that MUST be won.  (By the way, in the war of 1812, Canadians kicked American ass back to the White House and burned it.)

These were two spectacular games with nothing to be ashamed of.  Canadians never forget this.  It's still fun -- win or lose.  That's what games are meant to be.  It's something USA citizens need to learn...

So the next time Canadians kick your asses, don't pout.  Don't go silent.  Step into the circle, face off and learn how to have fun.

"Drop-In" Clinic???

This week, I took my fourteen year old daughter to a "drop-in" clinic because she was suffering from a sinus infection.  Our family doctor is away for several more days so I was unable to take my girl there.

Anyway, we get to the "drop-in" clinic around 3:30, which isn't really late in the day.  The first question we were asked was "do you have an appointment?"  Well, hmm.  Nope.  I was under the impression this is a drop-in clinic.  They claim to be.  They just book appointments and have a cut-off time for accepting more drop-in patients.

In my mind, you are not a "drop-in" clinic if you book appointments.  Appointments defeat the purpose.  If you were actually wondering if we had already checked in, then word your question differently so there's no confusion, frustration or annoyance. I also understand you must have a "cut-off" time for accepting patients or the clinic would be open twenty-four hours.

They directed me to a new drop-in clinic that is only open from 5 p.m. until 9 p.m.  It was approximately an hour till they opened, so my daughter and I cruised by the location.  They had one enormous sign on an office building with multiple offices.  Not ONE sign on the door we needed to go in when the time arrived.  Really???  Are we just supposed to pick one and hope for the best?

Now, I'm beyond annoyed.  I'm just plain ol' pissed.  This is why I rarely do the "right" thing of going to a drop-in clinic and head straight to the emergency room.  We wasted forty-five minutes when we could have been waiting at the hospital.  Forty-five minutes off the over-all treatment time.  Forty-five minutes with no frustration, annoyances or anger.  Forty-five minutes neither of us will ever get back.

We were in the emergency room for approximately two hours.  Start to finish.  They have a "fast-track" area that speeds simple cases through.  The emergency room did a great job.  Thank you.

To all the rest of you so-called "drop-in" clinics:

#1:  Don't advertise yourself as a drop-in clinic if an appointment needs to be booked.

#2:  Put your damned sign on the door so people can find you.