Bottom-line? A colour changes nothing. All it brings is awareness to a growing societal issue. Unfortunately, I believe we've taken away our children's right to defend themselves with the zero tolerance for physical violence. The child being bullied gets suspended right alongside the bully if there is a physical altercation. This is wrong. There should be no consequences for defending yourself. Particularly if the school has been made aware of the situation.
My youngest daughter had an issue in grade 6 that progressed from innocent disagreements to a nasty, little bully hitting the brick wall of this mom, but later attempted many underhanded ways to get even.
It began with the odd jealous text when my daughter would be hanging out with other friends. This girl lived in a different neighbourhood and couldn't simply walk over to play. Finally, after several such texts, each one nastier, my daughter reacted by telling her to quit being a jerk. That's it. The truthful comment that started it all. My daughter ignored her texts for the rest of the day. Proper thing.
The following morning, this kid begins to "spam" text my girl. She started with an apology but when Darian didn't reply, she went back to the jealous texts. Darian brought her phone to me. I identified myself, asking her to stop. This child had the gumption -- if not the brains -- to continue her dialogue with me. I refused to respond and called her mother to request that her child knock it off. While the child no longer texted my girl, this is not where the story ends.
She continued at school by attempting to draw other kids into her hatred towards my daughter, until her mother accosted me in the hallway after school saying her child was coming home in tears because mine was being mean. All right. I told her I'd investigate. Meanwhile, both of our girls came over to wait for the conversation to finish. This girl got upset with me, saying she was sorry and didn't understand why Darian no longer wanted to be friends. Really???
This is a little pearl of wisdom all parents should pass on to their children, and I passed it on to this young lady that day: Saying you are sorry doesn't erase the hurtful things you have done. Your actions will. And your actions have not changed. It was at this point, her mother hung her head and the conversation ended.
After that, I did my research. I spoke to kids, teachers and the vice-principal. NONE of them had seen -- or heard -- anything my child had supposedly done or said. The next time she lashed out at my child at school, it was dealt with on a higher level until she quit attempting to get at Darian directly. However, there were a couple other girls who attempted similar stunts because of the original altercation, and they were shut down without involving the school, parent-to-parent.
You know the truly sad part of this story? This young lady continues these antics with other kids, while her parents sit idly by, assuming it is the other child's fault. They are completely unwilling to acknowledge their daughter has issues. They are unwilling to give her discipline. Ultimately, this girl is the one who will be hurt. She will become a mean-spirited adult who thinks she can do exactly as she pleases. That hurting others is okay as long as she gets what she wants.
Bullying begins at home with a lack of consequences and parental awareness.
Parents, please involve yourself with your kids. Know what's going on. Sit and watch them in their group when they are unaware of your presence. Don't assume your child is an angel. Be aware of their faults, strengths and weaknesses.
The following morning, this kid begins to "spam" text my girl. She started with an apology but when Darian didn't reply, she went back to the jealous texts. Darian brought her phone to me. I identified myself, asking her to stop. This child had the gumption -- if not the brains -- to continue her dialogue with me. I refused to respond and called her mother to request that her child knock it off. While the child no longer texted my girl, this is not where the story ends.
She continued at school by attempting to draw other kids into her hatred towards my daughter, until her mother accosted me in the hallway after school saying her child was coming home in tears because mine was being mean. All right. I told her I'd investigate. Meanwhile, both of our girls came over to wait for the conversation to finish. This girl got upset with me, saying she was sorry and didn't understand why Darian no longer wanted to be friends. Really???
This is a little pearl of wisdom all parents should pass on to their children, and I passed it on to this young lady that day: Saying you are sorry doesn't erase the hurtful things you have done. Your actions will. And your actions have not changed. It was at this point, her mother hung her head and the conversation ended.
After that, I did my research. I spoke to kids, teachers and the vice-principal. NONE of them had seen -- or heard -- anything my child had supposedly done or said. The next time she lashed out at my child at school, it was dealt with on a higher level until she quit attempting to get at Darian directly. However, there were a couple other girls who attempted similar stunts because of the original altercation, and they were shut down without involving the school, parent-to-parent.
You know the truly sad part of this story? This young lady continues these antics with other kids, while her parents sit idly by, assuming it is the other child's fault. They are completely unwilling to acknowledge their daughter has issues. They are unwilling to give her discipline. Ultimately, this girl is the one who will be hurt. She will become a mean-spirited adult who thinks she can do exactly as she pleases. That hurting others is okay as long as she gets what she wants.
Bullying begins at home with a lack of consequences and parental awareness.
Parents, please involve yourself with your kids. Know what's going on. Sit and watch them in their group when they are unaware of your presence. Don't assume your child is an angel. Be aware of their faults, strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes kids DO need to solve their own issues. But don't let them try to handle these types of situations alone with only a school system for back up. After all, schools have limited disciplinary measures. Don't be afraid to jump in feet first and deal with it parent-to-parent before your child is driven to desperate measures. Better a little confrontation than a tragedy.
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