I recently read an anonymous declaration from a teacher on one of those social media "confessions" pages about parents who refuse to deal with their drug addicted teenagers. And claiming these same parents blame her for their children not learning while in her class. Her comments rubbed me the wrong way. I'll explain why.
Yes, there are parents out there who seem not to care. Even stories of parents who allow their teens to smoke marijuana. On the flip side, how many parents are NOT aware their kids are stoned at school because teachers don't inform them? I'd be willing to bet fifty percent of the parents have no clue their teens are snorting, smoking, drinking or whatever other dangerous behaviours they choose to do during school hours. How many of these teens are already on their own -- and have been for a significant number of years? How many are considering moving out because of whatever instabilities exist in their lives?
My high school daughter constantly tells me how many kids are stoned at school -- on what, she has no idea and steers clear of that whole scenario. Tells me how many of the kids are from broken homes with parents too busy fighting over this or that to remember their kids need them. Or the ones with a new step-parent changing the over all family dynamics. The kids being bounced from one foster home to another. Doesn't matter the reason -- just that it is happening and these kids feel that NO ONE cares. It is sad and disheartening to see our future generation resorting to addictive, harmful practices at younger ages.
However, there are more reasons than just parenting -- or the lack thereof -- to raise a child into a mature, responsible adult. It takes an entire village to raise a child successfully. In today's society, that is what doesn't happen. Not to mention a societal concept that drugs -- prescription or street -- are a necessity. Just watch TV to see how many different drugs are advertised for this or that medical condition.
There is nothing but finger-pointing from all sides. It has to stop. I remember when everyone's mother had the right to kick your ass if they caught you misbehaving. Then they called your mother and you got your ass kicked again when you got home. And don't even TALK about what the consequences would be if the cops brought you home! Now, everyone turns a blind eye and is afraid to speak directly to the offenders parents.
Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their kids' behaviours and not always assume their children are angels -- because they are not. There need to be consequences for bad behaviour from bullying to just plain rudeness and entitlement. What parents do need, and often don't receive from the education system, is both sides of a story to appropriately discipline our kids when the issue first arises. With so many ways to communicate today, this should be easier.
However, teachers need to be held accountable for their actions -- or lack thereof. I've watched children wrestle in a crowded hallway, with a teacher looking on, and had to break up the kids who were misbehaving before they injured themselves or other kids. Constantly asked children to quit running in hallways because this simple safety rule is no longer enforced. Dealt with administrators/teachers who stood by while another child was pushed around and did nothing to stop it until the child being pushed swore at the other kid to make them back off. Witnessed one teacher refuse a boy a drink of water on an extremely hot field trip day because he had forgotten to bring some. I provided him water for the rest of the day and educated her as gracefully as possible when she attempted to excuse her behaviour for blatantly mistreating this child. Fielded an issue at another over night trip with the school where children were disrespecting others by running through their rooms and pawing through others' belongings. The kids were told to report these incidents to a certain teacher who had requested they go to her, but she was reading a book and couldn't be bothered to deal with this problem. So I did.
Despite the terrible, uncaring teachers out there, my kids have had the benefit of the truly amazing teachers, too. You know the ones. They will sit with your child until a difficult math concept is understood. The one who makes sure they notify you of ANY concerns academically or behaviour issues encountered. The teacher who always smiles. The teacher who constantly volunteers for extra-curricular activities. The teacher who cares enough to truly listen to both the parents and the children, regardless of their home circumstances, and makes appropriate changes so the child can excel. These teachers are the ones who make a difference in a child's life, simply by caring enough to go above and beyond their "job description". They are part of the Village and I commend them greatly.
Please stop pointing fingers and just help those in need. It isn't parents against teachers. We should be on the same side. Be kind. Be understanding. Listen and then act. Care enough to do what you can just to make someone's life better, happier. Please care enough to be part of the Village.
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