A very controversial subject right now, to be sure, with the media reporting measles outbreaks in various parts of the country. Me? I lean very much toward full vaccinations within our population. Yet I understand why some choose not to as well -- whether it may be a pre-existing medical condition that prevents vaccination or perhaps a bad reaction with an older child in the past. I even understand people of certain religious beliefs who do not vaccinate their children. Nor do I believe we should force those who choose not to be vaccinated to have them, as some have suggested should be done. It is their body. We do live in a free country. There is also the "herd immunity" concept and here in Canada our vaccination rates are high enough most of us are protected by this.
Let's talk about vaccines. I'm no doctor so please don't quote me as these are only my opinions based on conversations with nurses and reading articles from credited researchers regarding vaccinations. The common childhood vaccinations (diphtheria, whooping cough, measles, mumps, rubella, etc.) simply mean you are protecting your child from diseases that may cause death or possibly adverse disabilities if your child does survive a round with any of these diseases. These diseases don't seem to change regularly -- unlike influenza. If everyone in the world was vaccinated for them, they could potentially become extinct diseases. So, yes, I'm in favour of vaccinations such as these.
The anti-vaccinators I disagree with whole-heartedly are the ones who base their decision on fear-mongering, begun by mamas on the war-path to answers regarding their child's medical condition. Yes, I'm also aware that anti-vaxers say those of us who vaccinate also fall prey to fear-mongering of these childhood diseases.
To be completely fair, ours is not a generation who has seen the debilitating side-effects -- or deaths -- these diseases have the potential to cause. Those from previous generations, who have witnessed these diseases run rampant through our population, have more voice than those of us who have not.
I also think it would be fair to say autism has been around for many more years than people are willing to admit. It just didn't have a name. Just as a century or more ago, the elderly were merely senile -- now they have Alzheimer's or dementia. Now that autism has a name, we naturally want answers as to what causes it. I fully understand this rationale, too. As the parent of a teen with Type 1 Diabetes, I'd love to know what caused her body to turn on itself so she can no longer produce insulin. Better yet, I'd love to have a cure so my kiddo doesn't have to poke herself multiple times a day just to live. Unfortunately, some things just ARE. This need to know, to blame, is a natural part of accepting your child's diagnosis.
There are often conflicting reports on the cause of any disease, just as the "best" treatment is different from one medical professional to the next. I also think parents lean toward the report that takes the blame off them -- not that you are to blame for your child's disease, just feel you are. The possibility in one medical study, only to be disproven later in another, that the MMR vaccination caused autism preys on parents looking for something, someone, to blame. In my mind, it really is that simple. Remember that most diseases are caused by multiple factors.
I do understand those with a pre-existing medical condition who are unable to get vaccinations. Again, to my way of thinking, reasons such as these are EXACTLY why the rest of us need to get vaccinated -- to protect those who CAN'T protect themselves.
What is thoroughly disgusting to me with this debate is how people disrespect one another's opinions. There is no need to name call or comment with blatant rudeness. No need to spread false information from this or that non-medical web-site. No reason to say they should be forced to put something in their bodies they don't want there. State your opinion respectfully, kindly and leave it at that.
Me? I am a proud believer in vaccinating for these childhood diseases. However, I do ask anti-vaxxers to please make sure your decision not to vaccinate is based on true facts from your doctor, nurse, naturopath or any other credited medical professional. Please don't choose this route without thoroughly investigating all of the ramifications of your decision, keeping in mind safety -- all manner of it -- is a group effort.
Monday, 16 February 2015
Friday, 16 January 2015
Collision Capital = Lack of Courtesy
It was all over the news this week in our little city -- we are collision capital. Collisions with injuries went up a whopping 102%. This is a little crazy but anyone driving in good ol' Grande Prairie, AB, can see at least two close calls on each fifteen minute drive. Not kidding. Thankfully I haven't witnessed more than close calls, but even that is too much. Because I'm a "people-watcher", I believe the majority of accidents are caused by total Lack of Courtesy. So I'm going to list a few things I see on a regular basis while driving around because people are not Courteous and have Entitled attitudes.
Most important -- emergency vehicles with sirens wailing and lights flashing have the right of way. It sickens me to watch so many vehicles carry on their way without yielding to the emergency vehicles. I get certain times of the day it's harder to pull to the right to stop. I get you may be at a red light -- in the left hand lane. However, you MUST find a way to make room for them. Hop up on the curb. If it's safe, proceed through your red light and pull to the right. If you were the one in need of the fire truck, ambulance or RCMP I'm sure you would appreciate this little courtesy so they could arrive faster.
Lane changes really are NOT that hard to accomplish. You shouldn't -- for your safety and the safety of everyone else on the road -- come to a screeching halt, with your signal light on, holding up traffic, until someone is nice enough to let you in. Or there is a hole big enough. Or the light turns red and there is no more traffic. It's called planning. If you know you need a certain lane, change early enough it isn't a problem. Watch how the traffic flows so you can safely change lanes at the speed limit. It is far easier to change lanes if you are travelling the same speed as the rest of the traffic. Nor would it kill you to let someone in. It's actually very painless -- no need to speed up when you see a signal light so the person can't come over. We are not in a race.
Signal lights -- you know, the little stick on the left of your steering wheel? Makes the lights flash on the front and back of your vehicle so people know what you're doing? Easiest thing in the world to use and so very helpful for everyone around you.
Honest. No one is lying to you. Red means STOP. Same with the red sign that says STOP. They are there for a reason. Also, yellow doesn't mean "go, but go faster". Same with yield signs.
Pedestrians also have the right of way. Since our lovely city lives in the dark during peak driving hours for half the year, pedestrians PLEASE take some of the onus and use reflective material on your outerwear. Sometimes motorists really can't see you until we are right there -- even on a cross walk -- because of your dark clothing and the dark skies. And, for god's sake NEVER assume everyone on both sides of the road knows you're there. Check before you step out from behind the vehicle.
School zones blow chunks, too. No one seems to care about the safety of other people's children -- and barely about their own children's. Please don't PASS stopped vehicles in a school zone. You don't know why they are stopped -- could be letting little people cross and you can't see them. Don't speed. U-turns ARE illegal -- especially in school zones. Also, you are not supposed to impede traffic by allowing your kids to "stop, drop and roll". I know lots of people do it, me included occasionally, but it is a ticket-able offence. And don't park on/in cross walks in school zones while dropping off/picking up your kids. Half the time the parking lot is empty. Use it.
Quit texting and yapping on your phones. Whoever is calling/texting can wait five minutes till you arrive at your destination. Before cell phones, we didn't even care until we got home, so what's the difference now?
Pay attention to road conditions in winter. While snow removal and ice control has improved some over the last few years, it is still far from great. Perfect example was Jan 10, 2015. Snowed all day Friday. "Significantly", I might add. Not one plough out over night. Not one during the day. No sand or salt trucks either. Every intersection was glare ice. Skates would have provided better traction over rubber tires. Seriously. Snow removal and ice control is a 24/7 job in a growing city like ours. It isn't Monday - Friday, 8 to 5. The man in charge of roads needs to recognize this and make appropriate amendments. It would also be great if left-hand turning lanes were cleared properly. Many are down to just half of what they should be, creating other traffic issues because of it. Remember, not everyone is an experienced driver and can "read" how slippery that intersection may be.
Driving too slowly in a designated speed area is every bit as dangerous as driving too fast. In other words, 20 - 30 km/hour under the stated speed limit is dangerous to you and other drivers. If you are afraid to drive because of the winter roads, take a taxi, the bus or walk. But please don't endanger others -- and yourself -- by driving.
Oh, and last but not least, don't play "games" with other drivers. Don't like that guy on your ass because you are doing 10 km/hr under? Speed up or change lanes so he can blow by. If he does try to go around you, don't be a dick and speed up so he can't get back in front of you. Let them in. A car length doesn't make ANY difference in how fast you get somewhere. If you are doing the speed limit and some one is riding your ass, who cares. Be patient. Usually that guy in front of you is driving that way for a reason -- they may see something you cannot. And it might be ten guys in front of you who knows why there's a sudden line of traffic.
Bottom line is this, collisions are caused by impatient people making bad decisions because of a general Lack of Courtesy. Everyone who has ever been the operator of a vehicle has been impatient and made mistakes. What everyone needs to remember is sometimes it really was YOU who fucked up. Admit it and try not to repeat it. Hell, apologize if you caused the fender-bender. Don't come up with some lame, patronizing excuse like "Oh, it's winter and roads are always slippery." That just pisses people off. Apologize and mean it.
Please, Citizens of Grande Prairie, AB, be courteous and patient. Your life may depend on it.
Most important -- emergency vehicles with sirens wailing and lights flashing have the right of way. It sickens me to watch so many vehicles carry on their way without yielding to the emergency vehicles. I get certain times of the day it's harder to pull to the right to stop. I get you may be at a red light -- in the left hand lane. However, you MUST find a way to make room for them. Hop up on the curb. If it's safe, proceed through your red light and pull to the right. If you were the one in need of the fire truck, ambulance or RCMP I'm sure you would appreciate this little courtesy so they could arrive faster.
Lane changes really are NOT that hard to accomplish. You shouldn't -- for your safety and the safety of everyone else on the road -- come to a screeching halt, with your signal light on, holding up traffic, until someone is nice enough to let you in. Or there is a hole big enough. Or the light turns red and there is no more traffic. It's called planning. If you know you need a certain lane, change early enough it isn't a problem. Watch how the traffic flows so you can safely change lanes at the speed limit. It is far easier to change lanes if you are travelling the same speed as the rest of the traffic. Nor would it kill you to let someone in. It's actually very painless -- no need to speed up when you see a signal light so the person can't come over. We are not in a race.
Signal lights -- you know, the little stick on the left of your steering wheel? Makes the lights flash on the front and back of your vehicle so people know what you're doing? Easiest thing in the world to use and so very helpful for everyone around you.
Honest. No one is lying to you. Red means STOP. Same with the red sign that says STOP. They are there for a reason. Also, yellow doesn't mean "go, but go faster". Same with yield signs.
Pedestrians also have the right of way. Since our lovely city lives in the dark during peak driving hours for half the year, pedestrians PLEASE take some of the onus and use reflective material on your outerwear. Sometimes motorists really can't see you until we are right there -- even on a cross walk -- because of your dark clothing and the dark skies. And, for god's sake NEVER assume everyone on both sides of the road knows you're there. Check before you step out from behind the vehicle.
School zones blow chunks, too. No one seems to care about the safety of other people's children -- and barely about their own children's. Please don't PASS stopped vehicles in a school zone. You don't know why they are stopped -- could be letting little people cross and you can't see them. Don't speed. U-turns ARE illegal -- especially in school zones. Also, you are not supposed to impede traffic by allowing your kids to "stop, drop and roll". I know lots of people do it, me included occasionally, but it is a ticket-able offence. And don't park on/in cross walks in school zones while dropping off/picking up your kids. Half the time the parking lot is empty. Use it.
Quit texting and yapping on your phones. Whoever is calling/texting can wait five minutes till you arrive at your destination. Before cell phones, we didn't even care until we got home, so what's the difference now?
Pay attention to road conditions in winter. While snow removal and ice control has improved some over the last few years, it is still far from great. Perfect example was Jan 10, 2015. Snowed all day Friday. "Significantly", I might add. Not one plough out over night. Not one during the day. No sand or salt trucks either. Every intersection was glare ice. Skates would have provided better traction over rubber tires. Seriously. Snow removal and ice control is a 24/7 job in a growing city like ours. It isn't Monday - Friday, 8 to 5. The man in charge of roads needs to recognize this and make appropriate amendments. It would also be great if left-hand turning lanes were cleared properly. Many are down to just half of what they should be, creating other traffic issues because of it. Remember, not everyone is an experienced driver and can "read" how slippery that intersection may be.
Driving too slowly in a designated speed area is every bit as dangerous as driving too fast. In other words, 20 - 30 km/hour under the stated speed limit is dangerous to you and other drivers. If you are afraid to drive because of the winter roads, take a taxi, the bus or walk. But please don't endanger others -- and yourself -- by driving.
Oh, and last but not least, don't play "games" with other drivers. Don't like that guy on your ass because you are doing 10 km/hr under? Speed up or change lanes so he can blow by. If he does try to go around you, don't be a dick and speed up so he can't get back in front of you. Let them in. A car length doesn't make ANY difference in how fast you get somewhere. If you are doing the speed limit and some one is riding your ass, who cares. Be patient. Usually that guy in front of you is driving that way for a reason -- they may see something you cannot. And it might be ten guys in front of you who knows why there's a sudden line of traffic.
Bottom line is this, collisions are caused by impatient people making bad decisions because of a general Lack of Courtesy. Everyone who has ever been the operator of a vehicle has been impatient and made mistakes. What everyone needs to remember is sometimes it really was YOU who fucked up. Admit it and try not to repeat it. Hell, apologize if you caused the fender-bender. Don't come up with some lame, patronizing excuse like "Oh, it's winter and roads are always slippery." That just pisses people off. Apologize and mean it.
Please, Citizens of Grande Prairie, AB, be courteous and patient. Your life may depend on it.
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
Addiction: Disease or Choice
A recent newspaper article stating a new drug, Fentanyl, which is one hundred times stronger than morphine or oxy is in town and can be attributed to several recent deaths. In the online comments, one former addict compared her "disease" to cancer. Completely, totally, utterly, inappropriate comparison. This is the claim that got me thinking about whether addiction is a disease or a choice. Personally, I believe addiction is a choice and I'll explain why.
Addicts, both former and present, swear up and down addiction is a disease. Not one addict will admit they chose to take that first hit of drugs. They are all about the excuses as to why they took that first, second or third hit. Believe me, I've heard my share of sad stories, both from current addicts, former addicts and non-addicts. Each group has an equal amount of horrible life circumstances, usually beginning in childhood or their early teen years. One group turns to the self-destructive behaviour of addiction. The other does not. How can one group, with the same turn of events in their lives, manage to thrive despite those heartbreaking and terrible events? Choice.
What is the definition of a disease?
I've watched several people in my circle go down in flames, due to drug addiction. Usually hitting the proverbial brick wall several times before they get it together. Even now, I am standing on the sidelines watching another one go through addiction. Breaks my heart, watching someone torture themselves with drugs, when I know very well they can make the choice to get clean. Is it easy to come back from? Absolutely not. It requires an inner stubbornness the size of the North American continent -- or larger. This is choice.
However, I refuse to enable the habit by pitying them, by giving them money, a roof over their heads or allowing them excuses, such as an abusive childhood. You chose the path you are on. Choose to get off it by getting professional help.
Until then, I don't want anything to do with you. Why? You can't believe a word that comes out of an addict's mouth. You can't trust them in your home; they'll rob you -- even if you share the same gene pool. You can talk till you are blue in the face about making good choices, but until the addict is ready, they will NOT change. The truly sad thing is they play Russian Roulette with their lives each time they feed their addiction. Addiction is a selfish life choice.
Maybe an addict can explain to me -- again -- how their "disease" can even compare to cancer? Every choice made by an addict drives them further down this ugly road. It isn't an illness that sends them down this path. Just a series of really bad choices. Someone suggested cancer is self-inflicted by lifestyle choices, such as smoking. How do you explain the non-smoker who dies of lung cancer, yet never subjected themselves to second-hand smoke? Explain the long-time smoker who doesn't ever get lung cancer. How do you explain the child born with leukemia or eye cancer? What about all the kids diagnosed with ugly and very rare forms of cancer? Children haven't made any lifestyle choices that cause their cancer. Some are so young, it wasn't the parents' choices either.
How would you, a recovering addict, explain an auto-immune disease, such as Type 1 Diabetes? I guarantee there is not one person with Type 1 who did something to "cause" their disease. No eating of too much sugar. No lack of exercise. Auto-immune disease just happens -- and there are many such diseases. I will also guarantee caring for a person with this chronic, life-long, incurable-to-date disease is extremely difficult and emotionally demanding. Because this disease doesn't play nice or follow rules. Nor will it ever go away.
Recovering addicts CAN follow rules -- they choose not to. It is that very lack of ability to follow rules that get addicts into trouble in the first place. Wound up on the street because you're an addict who can't hold a job? Get the shit kicked out of you by the dealer you stiffed? Can't get any family or friends to take you in? Why??? Because of a "disease"? Sorry. Because of choice. Every lifestyle issue is driven by choice. Yours. Not mine. Not your parents. Not because of abuse. Not because you got dropped on your head as an infant. Because you CHOSE the path you are on. And YOU are the only one who can choose to get your shit together.
If you must believe addiction is a "disease" to get your shit together, then fine. However, I will not agree with that analogy when a few people I know simply decided one day that enough was enough and got clean -- without professional help -- and are still clean, productive members of society to this day. That, to me, screams choice, not disease.
Instead of blaming every one and every circumstance, own what you have done to yourself and your loved ones. Own it. Then change it.
Addicts, both former and present, swear up and down addiction is a disease. Not one addict will admit they chose to take that first hit of drugs. They are all about the excuses as to why they took that first, second or third hit. Believe me, I've heard my share of sad stories, both from current addicts, former addicts and non-addicts. Each group has an equal amount of horrible life circumstances, usually beginning in childhood or their early teen years. One group turns to the self-destructive behaviour of addiction. The other does not. How can one group, with the same turn of events in their lives, manage to thrive despite those heartbreaking and terrible events? Choice.
What is the definition of a disease?
- an abnormal condition of a part, organ or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, inflammation, environmental factors or genetic defect and characterized by an identifiable group of signs, symptoms or both.
I've watched several people in my circle go down in flames, due to drug addiction. Usually hitting the proverbial brick wall several times before they get it together. Even now, I am standing on the sidelines watching another one go through addiction. Breaks my heart, watching someone torture themselves with drugs, when I know very well they can make the choice to get clean. Is it easy to come back from? Absolutely not. It requires an inner stubbornness the size of the North American continent -- or larger. This is choice.
However, I refuse to enable the habit by pitying them, by giving them money, a roof over their heads or allowing them excuses, such as an abusive childhood. You chose the path you are on. Choose to get off it by getting professional help.
Until then, I don't want anything to do with you. Why? You can't believe a word that comes out of an addict's mouth. You can't trust them in your home; they'll rob you -- even if you share the same gene pool. You can talk till you are blue in the face about making good choices, but until the addict is ready, they will NOT change. The truly sad thing is they play Russian Roulette with their lives each time they feed their addiction. Addiction is a selfish life choice.
Maybe an addict can explain to me -- again -- how their "disease" can even compare to cancer? Every choice made by an addict drives them further down this ugly road. It isn't an illness that sends them down this path. Just a series of really bad choices. Someone suggested cancer is self-inflicted by lifestyle choices, such as smoking. How do you explain the non-smoker who dies of lung cancer, yet never subjected themselves to second-hand smoke? Explain the long-time smoker who doesn't ever get lung cancer. How do you explain the child born with leukemia or eye cancer? What about all the kids diagnosed with ugly and very rare forms of cancer? Children haven't made any lifestyle choices that cause their cancer. Some are so young, it wasn't the parents' choices either.
How would you, a recovering addict, explain an auto-immune disease, such as Type 1 Diabetes? I guarantee there is not one person with Type 1 who did something to "cause" their disease. No eating of too much sugar. No lack of exercise. Auto-immune disease just happens -- and there are many such diseases. I will also guarantee caring for a person with this chronic, life-long, incurable-to-date disease is extremely difficult and emotionally demanding. Because this disease doesn't play nice or follow rules. Nor will it ever go away.
Recovering addicts CAN follow rules -- they choose not to. It is that very lack of ability to follow rules that get addicts into trouble in the first place. Wound up on the street because you're an addict who can't hold a job? Get the shit kicked out of you by the dealer you stiffed? Can't get any family or friends to take you in? Why??? Because of a "disease"? Sorry. Because of choice. Every lifestyle issue is driven by choice. Yours. Not mine. Not your parents. Not because of abuse. Not because you got dropped on your head as an infant. Because you CHOSE the path you are on. And YOU are the only one who can choose to get your shit together.
If you must believe addiction is a "disease" to get your shit together, then fine. However, I will not agree with that analogy when a few people I know simply decided one day that enough was enough and got clean -- without professional help -- and are still clean, productive members of society to this day. That, to me, screams choice, not disease.
Instead of blaming every one and every circumstance, own what you have done to yourself and your loved ones. Own it. Then change it.
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
It Takes a Village
I recently read an anonymous declaration from a teacher on one of those social media "confessions" pages about parents who refuse to deal with their drug addicted teenagers. And claiming these same parents blame her for their children not learning while in her class. Her comments rubbed me the wrong way. I'll explain why.
Yes, there are parents out there who seem not to care. Even stories of parents who allow their teens to smoke marijuana. On the flip side, how many parents are NOT aware their kids are stoned at school because teachers don't inform them? I'd be willing to bet fifty percent of the parents have no clue their teens are snorting, smoking, drinking or whatever other dangerous behaviours they choose to do during school hours. How many of these teens are already on their own -- and have been for a significant number of years? How many are considering moving out because of whatever instabilities exist in their lives?
My high school daughter constantly tells me how many kids are stoned at school -- on what, she has no idea and steers clear of that whole scenario. Tells me how many of the kids are from broken homes with parents too busy fighting over this or that to remember their kids need them. Or the ones with a new step-parent changing the over all family dynamics. The kids being bounced from one foster home to another. Doesn't matter the reason -- just that it is happening and these kids feel that NO ONE cares. It is sad and disheartening to see our future generation resorting to addictive, harmful practices at younger ages.
However, there are more reasons than just parenting -- or the lack thereof -- to raise a child into a mature, responsible adult. It takes an entire village to raise a child successfully. In today's society, that is what doesn't happen. Not to mention a societal concept that drugs -- prescription or street -- are a necessity. Just watch TV to see how many different drugs are advertised for this or that medical condition.
There is nothing but finger-pointing from all sides. It has to stop. I remember when everyone's mother had the right to kick your ass if they caught you misbehaving. Then they called your mother and you got your ass kicked again when you got home. And don't even TALK about what the consequences would be if the cops brought you home! Now, everyone turns a blind eye and is afraid to speak directly to the offenders parents.
Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their kids' behaviours and not always assume their children are angels -- because they are not. There need to be consequences for bad behaviour from bullying to just plain rudeness and entitlement. What parents do need, and often don't receive from the education system, is both sides of a story to appropriately discipline our kids when the issue first arises. With so many ways to communicate today, this should be easier.
However, teachers need to be held accountable for their actions -- or lack thereof. I've watched children wrestle in a crowded hallway, with a teacher looking on, and had to break up the kids who were misbehaving before they injured themselves or other kids. Constantly asked children to quit running in hallways because this simple safety rule is no longer enforced. Dealt with administrators/teachers who stood by while another child was pushed around and did nothing to stop it until the child being pushed swore at the other kid to make them back off. Witnessed one teacher refuse a boy a drink of water on an extremely hot field trip day because he had forgotten to bring some. I provided him water for the rest of the day and educated her as gracefully as possible when she attempted to excuse her behaviour for blatantly mistreating this child. Fielded an issue at another over night trip with the school where children were disrespecting others by running through their rooms and pawing through others' belongings. The kids were told to report these incidents to a certain teacher who had requested they go to her, but she was reading a book and couldn't be bothered to deal with this problem. So I did.
Despite the terrible, uncaring teachers out there, my kids have had the benefit of the truly amazing teachers, too. You know the ones. They will sit with your child until a difficult math concept is understood. The one who makes sure they notify you of ANY concerns academically or behaviour issues encountered. The teacher who always smiles. The teacher who constantly volunteers for extra-curricular activities. The teacher who cares enough to truly listen to both the parents and the children, regardless of their home circumstances, and makes appropriate changes so the child can excel. These teachers are the ones who make a difference in a child's life, simply by caring enough to go above and beyond their "job description". They are part of the Village and I commend them greatly.
Please stop pointing fingers and just help those in need. It isn't parents against teachers. We should be on the same side. Be kind. Be understanding. Listen and then act. Care enough to do what you can just to make someone's life better, happier. Please care enough to be part of the Village.
Yes, there are parents out there who seem not to care. Even stories of parents who allow their teens to smoke marijuana. On the flip side, how many parents are NOT aware their kids are stoned at school because teachers don't inform them? I'd be willing to bet fifty percent of the parents have no clue their teens are snorting, smoking, drinking or whatever other dangerous behaviours they choose to do during school hours. How many of these teens are already on their own -- and have been for a significant number of years? How many are considering moving out because of whatever instabilities exist in their lives?
My high school daughter constantly tells me how many kids are stoned at school -- on what, she has no idea and steers clear of that whole scenario. Tells me how many of the kids are from broken homes with parents too busy fighting over this or that to remember their kids need them. Or the ones with a new step-parent changing the over all family dynamics. The kids being bounced from one foster home to another. Doesn't matter the reason -- just that it is happening and these kids feel that NO ONE cares. It is sad and disheartening to see our future generation resorting to addictive, harmful practices at younger ages.
However, there are more reasons than just parenting -- or the lack thereof -- to raise a child into a mature, responsible adult. It takes an entire village to raise a child successfully. In today's society, that is what doesn't happen. Not to mention a societal concept that drugs -- prescription or street -- are a necessity. Just watch TV to see how many different drugs are advertised for this or that medical condition.
There is nothing but finger-pointing from all sides. It has to stop. I remember when everyone's mother had the right to kick your ass if they caught you misbehaving. Then they called your mother and you got your ass kicked again when you got home. And don't even TALK about what the consequences would be if the cops brought you home! Now, everyone turns a blind eye and is afraid to speak directly to the offenders parents.
Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their kids' behaviours and not always assume their children are angels -- because they are not. There need to be consequences for bad behaviour from bullying to just plain rudeness and entitlement. What parents do need, and often don't receive from the education system, is both sides of a story to appropriately discipline our kids when the issue first arises. With so many ways to communicate today, this should be easier.
However, teachers need to be held accountable for their actions -- or lack thereof. I've watched children wrestle in a crowded hallway, with a teacher looking on, and had to break up the kids who were misbehaving before they injured themselves or other kids. Constantly asked children to quit running in hallways because this simple safety rule is no longer enforced. Dealt with administrators/teachers who stood by while another child was pushed around and did nothing to stop it until the child being pushed swore at the other kid to make them back off. Witnessed one teacher refuse a boy a drink of water on an extremely hot field trip day because he had forgotten to bring some. I provided him water for the rest of the day and educated her as gracefully as possible when she attempted to excuse her behaviour for blatantly mistreating this child. Fielded an issue at another over night trip with the school where children were disrespecting others by running through their rooms and pawing through others' belongings. The kids were told to report these incidents to a certain teacher who had requested they go to her, but she was reading a book and couldn't be bothered to deal with this problem. So I did.
Despite the terrible, uncaring teachers out there, my kids have had the benefit of the truly amazing teachers, too. You know the ones. They will sit with your child until a difficult math concept is understood. The one who makes sure they notify you of ANY concerns academically or behaviour issues encountered. The teacher who always smiles. The teacher who constantly volunteers for extra-curricular activities. The teacher who cares enough to truly listen to both the parents and the children, regardless of their home circumstances, and makes appropriate changes so the child can excel. These teachers are the ones who make a difference in a child's life, simply by caring enough to go above and beyond their "job description". They are part of the Village and I commend them greatly.
Please stop pointing fingers and just help those in need. It isn't parents against teachers. We should be on the same side. Be kind. Be understanding. Listen and then act. Care enough to do what you can just to make someone's life better, happier. Please care enough to be part of the Village.
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Education or Class Distinction?
My high school daughter sent me an excited text this morning. It went like this: "Hey mom! The school is having a trip to Peru over the Easter break. It'll cost $4000 to $5000 and we need $500 up front to hold a seat. Food and everything is included. I really want to go."
Instantly, my dander was up. What is educational about a trip to Peru for a bunch of high school students? What about the kids whose families can't afford an expense like this? Because, realistically, most of us are middle-class -- a lot are low income. Why do schools want to set class distinctions such as these? Why do schools want to instill a sense of entitlement in our teens? Why is a trip like this so costly -- particularly when you go to a travel website and a similar trip, at a four star hotel would cost approximately $2000 for a seven day stay? Food is not included, but I highly doubt food would cost an extra $2000 to $3000 more for one teenager. Granted, I don't have all the details of this trip, but there is just so much wrong about it.
First and foremost, it separates the kids whose parents can afford to send them from the ones who cannot; whether it is financially unfeasible -- or because they simply don't want to send their children to a foreign country without being there, too. I'm the latter.
My heart especially goes out to those kids who simply cannot afford trips like these. You know the ones: they won't even ask their parents because they know it can't happen. There are teens in foster care, teens with single parents living below the poverty line, families with more than one teen and teens who are on their own due to unhappy and/or unhealthy family circumstances. Who will help these kids save approximately $1,000 per month for the next six months so they can go? Even if they have a part time job, I doubt they make $1,000 per month. Let's be honest: most two-income, middle-class homes can't manage to save that much per month, due to the high cost of living.
I believe the education system is putting unnecessary peer pressure on teens and parents, along with drilling a sense of class distinction into a world that is supposed to be about equality. There is nothing equal about trips like these. They are not great opportunities for our kids to see the world. They are engineered for those with money and the middle-class sheep who will happily beggar themselves so their kids are happy; thereby, creating a sense of entitlement that simply doesn't need to be there -- in any level of society. School trips should be kept within a two to three hour travel limit and the extent of a weekend.
Want to educate our children? Send them to work the soup kitchen over their spring break. Let's teach them the value of the elderly and have them shovel sidewalks or mow lawns. How about reading to the elderly in the long term care facilities? How about going to the hospital to cheer up sick children or adults? Why not teach them to help clean up the city they call home? Really, it's not horrible to bend over and pick up a paper cup out of the gutter -- or find a garbage can so someone else doesn't have to pick it up. Why not teach them the value of investing in their community, in people?
Why are we teaching them that spending a small fortune is far cooler than helping those around us? Help doesn't mean giving people money... Sometimes a kind smile or word is more helpful than money could ever be.
The public education system is a huge part of the problem by creating inequality, peer pressure, instilling entitlement and general unkindness into our kids with trips like these. After all, they do have our children for the majority of their waking hours to influence them as they see fit.
Please. Stop the madness. Bring back common sense and kindness. Quit making kids feel like they don't belong because of money.
Instantly, my dander was up. What is educational about a trip to Peru for a bunch of high school students? What about the kids whose families can't afford an expense like this? Because, realistically, most of us are middle-class -- a lot are low income. Why do schools want to set class distinctions such as these? Why do schools want to instill a sense of entitlement in our teens? Why is a trip like this so costly -- particularly when you go to a travel website and a similar trip, at a four star hotel would cost approximately $2000 for a seven day stay? Food is not included, but I highly doubt food would cost an extra $2000 to $3000 more for one teenager. Granted, I don't have all the details of this trip, but there is just so much wrong about it.
First and foremost, it separates the kids whose parents can afford to send them from the ones who cannot; whether it is financially unfeasible -- or because they simply don't want to send their children to a foreign country without being there, too. I'm the latter.
My heart especially goes out to those kids who simply cannot afford trips like these. You know the ones: they won't even ask their parents because they know it can't happen. There are teens in foster care, teens with single parents living below the poverty line, families with more than one teen and teens who are on their own due to unhappy and/or unhealthy family circumstances. Who will help these kids save approximately $1,000 per month for the next six months so they can go? Even if they have a part time job, I doubt they make $1,000 per month. Let's be honest: most two-income, middle-class homes can't manage to save that much per month, due to the high cost of living.
I believe the education system is putting unnecessary peer pressure on teens and parents, along with drilling a sense of class distinction into a world that is supposed to be about equality. There is nothing equal about trips like these. They are not great opportunities for our kids to see the world. They are engineered for those with money and the middle-class sheep who will happily beggar themselves so their kids are happy; thereby, creating a sense of entitlement that simply doesn't need to be there -- in any level of society. School trips should be kept within a two to three hour travel limit and the extent of a weekend.
Want to educate our children? Send them to work the soup kitchen over their spring break. Let's teach them the value of the elderly and have them shovel sidewalks or mow lawns. How about reading to the elderly in the long term care facilities? How about going to the hospital to cheer up sick children or adults? Why not teach them to help clean up the city they call home? Really, it's not horrible to bend over and pick up a paper cup out of the gutter -- or find a garbage can so someone else doesn't have to pick it up. Why not teach them the value of investing in their community, in people?
Why are we teaching them that spending a small fortune is far cooler than helping those around us? Help doesn't mean giving people money... Sometimes a kind smile or word is more helpful than money could ever be.
The public education system is a huge part of the problem by creating inequality, peer pressure, instilling entitlement and general unkindness into our kids with trips like these. After all, they do have our children for the majority of their waking hours to influence them as they see fit.
Please. Stop the madness. Bring back common sense and kindness. Quit making kids feel like they don't belong because of money.
Friday, 5 September 2014
Peace is Not Irrelevant
The world has watched with a sense of disbelief and horror over the recent terrorist attacks in the Middle East. From Hamas attacking Israel -- yet again using their own people in the Gaza strip as human shields -- to the Jihadists/ISIS in Syria and Iraq beheading American citizens.
While many of us are not directly affected by these conflicts, we are all indirectly affected by these extremist acts of what equates to ethnic or religious cleansing. I believe we must all stand up against these terrorists. It is not an issue of race or religion. It is an issue of tolerance -- for all beliefs and races.
I recently watched an amazing video (which I will attach at the end) that explains in some very clear language why we ALL need to stand up against terrorism. Why we should be loyal to our peaceful countries first, rather than our religion or our race. It includes historical examples and leaves out the usual political correctness -- which is probably why it keeps getting banned from popular social medias.
This speech includes so many truths that need to be spread across the world virally. Please listen openly to this lady's very wise speech.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnOF7y-KuHE&sns=em
While many of us are not directly affected by these conflicts, we are all indirectly affected by these extremist acts of what equates to ethnic or religious cleansing. I believe we must all stand up against these terrorists. It is not an issue of race or religion. It is an issue of tolerance -- for all beliefs and races.
I recently watched an amazing video (which I will attach at the end) that explains in some very clear language why we ALL need to stand up against terrorism. Why we should be loyal to our peaceful countries first, rather than our religion or our race. It includes historical examples and leaves out the usual political correctness -- which is probably why it keeps getting banned from popular social medias.
This speech includes so many truths that need to be spread across the world virally. Please listen openly to this lady's very wise speech.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnOF7y-KuHE&sns=em
Tuesday, 19 August 2014
Why Can't We Numb Stupid with aTwo-by-Four?
How my day began:
One person turned in front of me. Their light was red. Mine was green. I was cruising the speed limit of 50 km/hr. This driver proceeds to drive 30 km/hr. Out of necessity, I jammed my brakes on to avoid a collision. The next light turned red and caught me. Whew. Maybe this goofy driver would manage to get through the entire string of lights down town. Get moving again and change lanes. Finally get through down town, some goofball is doing 40 km/hr in a 50 zone. Mirror check, shoulder check, gun it a little -- mostly because I like the sound of my Hemi when I do that! Slow driver steps on it. Just enough I can't change lanes back to where I need to be. Really? Vehicle turns in front of me so I sped up to get by this imbecile who was intent on causing an accident. What does she do? Speed up. I was seriously wishing for a bumper car. Bitch would still be crawling out of the woods if I had one, spitting out every damned one of her chicklets. Not sure why this person thought it was appropriate to play such a childish and dangerous game, but she did.
Next, on my bad day list: dealing with the high school. The good ol' automated phone call came through last night to inform me there was an orientation at the high school for all grade 9 and 10 students. Cool. Except the message was rattled off too quickly to grab a pen and write it down. No warning the message contained information requiring a pen and paper. Just a computer voice. My absolute pet peeve. NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO A COMPUTER!!! So I called to request the information, plus what their actual first day of school was, due to conflicting information, and clarification if there would be a simpler, easier to follow schedule for students.
Unfortunately, I spoke to a vice principal. Not sure which one. Mentioned their message should have some kind of warning that critical information would be in it -- or better yet, have real people call. Well, they can't POSSIBLY call everyone personally because there are far too many students!! What did they do before computers??? Maybe they should use their summers to call parents with this type of information. Or maybe they should simply include it in the package, along with a well explained schedule. Next, my request for a more understandable schedule was completely scoffed at.
I'll explain what the schedule looked like. Every subject for an entire year. Side descriptions of S1, S2 and Q1, Q2, Q3 and Q4. Header of B1, B2, B3, B4. No explanation as to what these short-hand terms meant. Hmmm. A little stumped. A friend gave me a hand: S1 = semester 1, etc. Q1 - quarter 1, etc. Okay. Makes sense. I'd almost reached that conclusion on my own. B1, etc., I had figured as the blocks/periods. Again, okay. What time do the blocks start and finish? Well, let's see.... Flip through other pages in the package, come up with the block times. But, wait a minute. There's day one and day two. So my kid has to carry around two papers, along with her books and binders, just to figure out where she's supposed to be and at what time of the day she's supposed to be there???? Oh, and don't forget there are no bells in high school!! Very good. Are the people who make these decisions up sniffing glue or crack? What ever it is, they should give it up and simplify absolutely everything.
Anyway, back to my conversation regarding the schedules: I asked if there would be an easier to understand schedule distributed to the students. No, there wouldn't. Why? It's far too difficult to change them now. All right. Will it continue to be so poorly constructed next year or are there plans to make it more understandable? No, probably not since this decision is up to "central" -- whoever that is. How many times have you been questioned about its lack of simplicity? Quite a few. So, let me get this straight. You've had complaints and concerns about students being able to understand this schedule style. You are a vice principal, in a position to recommend sensible changes, BUT you aren't going to recommend anything for next year???? No, she had no intention of doing so. My reply? No problem. I'll create one for my daughter and email you the template so it can be implemented next year. I hung up without so much as a good bye. After all, there's only so much stupid a person can handle in one day.
It should be made legal to numb stupid with a 2 x 4 or muffle the sound of it with duct tape, at the very least. Seriously.
One person turned in front of me. Their light was red. Mine was green. I was cruising the speed limit of 50 km/hr. This driver proceeds to drive 30 km/hr. Out of necessity, I jammed my brakes on to avoid a collision. The next light turned red and caught me. Whew. Maybe this goofy driver would manage to get through the entire string of lights down town. Get moving again and change lanes. Finally get through down town, some goofball is doing 40 km/hr in a 50 zone. Mirror check, shoulder check, gun it a little -- mostly because I like the sound of my Hemi when I do that! Slow driver steps on it. Just enough I can't change lanes back to where I need to be. Really? Vehicle turns in front of me so I sped up to get by this imbecile who was intent on causing an accident. What does she do? Speed up. I was seriously wishing for a bumper car. Bitch would still be crawling out of the woods if I had one, spitting out every damned one of her chicklets. Not sure why this person thought it was appropriate to play such a childish and dangerous game, but she did.
Next, on my bad day list: dealing with the high school. The good ol' automated phone call came through last night to inform me there was an orientation at the high school for all grade 9 and 10 students. Cool. Except the message was rattled off too quickly to grab a pen and write it down. No warning the message contained information requiring a pen and paper. Just a computer voice. My absolute pet peeve. NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO A COMPUTER!!! So I called to request the information, plus what their actual first day of school was, due to conflicting information, and clarification if there would be a simpler, easier to follow schedule for students.
Unfortunately, I spoke to a vice principal. Not sure which one. Mentioned their message should have some kind of warning that critical information would be in it -- or better yet, have real people call. Well, they can't POSSIBLY call everyone personally because there are far too many students!! What did they do before computers??? Maybe they should use their summers to call parents with this type of information. Or maybe they should simply include it in the package, along with a well explained schedule. Next, my request for a more understandable schedule was completely scoffed at.
I'll explain what the schedule looked like. Every subject for an entire year. Side descriptions of S1, S2 and Q1, Q2, Q3 and Q4. Header of B1, B2, B3, B4. No explanation as to what these short-hand terms meant. Hmmm. A little stumped. A friend gave me a hand: S1 = semester 1, etc. Q1 - quarter 1, etc. Okay. Makes sense. I'd almost reached that conclusion on my own. B1, etc., I had figured as the blocks/periods. Again, okay. What time do the blocks start and finish? Well, let's see.... Flip through other pages in the package, come up with the block times. But, wait a minute. There's day one and day two. So my kid has to carry around two papers, along with her books and binders, just to figure out where she's supposed to be and at what time of the day she's supposed to be there???? Oh, and don't forget there are no bells in high school!! Very good. Are the people who make these decisions up sniffing glue or crack? What ever it is, they should give it up and simplify absolutely everything.
Anyway, back to my conversation regarding the schedules: I asked if there would be an easier to understand schedule distributed to the students. No, there wouldn't. Why? It's far too difficult to change them now. All right. Will it continue to be so poorly constructed next year or are there plans to make it more understandable? No, probably not since this decision is up to "central" -- whoever that is. How many times have you been questioned about its lack of simplicity? Quite a few. So, let me get this straight. You've had complaints and concerns about students being able to understand this schedule style. You are a vice principal, in a position to recommend sensible changes, BUT you aren't going to recommend anything for next year???? No, she had no intention of doing so. My reply? No problem. I'll create one for my daughter and email you the template so it can be implemented next year. I hung up without so much as a good bye. After all, there's only so much stupid a person can handle in one day.
It should be made legal to numb stupid with a 2 x 4 or muffle the sound of it with duct tape, at the very least. Seriously.
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