Public Safety

In the wake of extreme tragedy in Newton, CT, it is quite difficult to watch the news.  Not for the grief that paralyzes us from such senseless loss, but, rather, the gross misdirection of the main issue.  Public safety, most often spouted in the guise of gun control.

Gun control is merely a band aid.  It prevents nothing, but soothes the minds of the public.  After all, guns do not fire themselves.  A law cannot protect a country's citizens from a person intending to do harm.  Illegal weapons seem to be easily acquired, despite well-meaning laws.

 

I believe we need better measures taken against criminals.  More laws to protect the innocent.  Punishment that suits the crime committed, not just a few years in a cushy jail cell where society educates them in the name of rehabilitation.  Real consequences.  Society should instill a little good, old-fashioned fear of consequences into its citizens.

Why do we as a society glorify the criminal?  The media is the worst culprit of this.  They speak incessantly of the young man who committed this travesty, but little of the school's principal who attempted to defend her school - barehanded - against a madman.  Why aren't we hearing about what an amazing woman she was?  About her ultimate sacrifice?  What of the other school staff members who gave their lives trying to save the children?  I want to hear about their lives.  I want to see them held on the media's pedestal.  What of the childrens' families?  They have made a terrible sacrifice to society.  My heart breaks for these families, completely devastated by one random act of violence.

 

We must stop glorifying evil.  Stop the infamy of Jesse James, Bonny and Clyde, the culprit in the Columbine shootings, and this young man.  We keep evil alive by allowing the media to dictate these details.  We will never understand - or know - the reason for this insanity.  We serve to promote more of this behaviour by giving it our attention.

 

I applaud the adults who lost their lives trying to save these children.  I applaud the families who now have such a heavy burden to bear.  All of you are true heroes.

Bullying

Outrageous bullying has, unfortunately, become an enormous part of society.  Fingers are constantly pointed with no viable solutions to this growing problem among our children. I believe it is a combination of all three of the constants among our children: parents, schools, and society.  Let's start with society's role in this fiasco, as I believe this is where the problem begins.

It began with the human rights movement.  This movement gave the human race rights it had not had before:  freedom of actions, told us how to conduct our personal disciplinary beliefs, that we are all invaluable.  While all of the above was a step in the right direction, society forgot to say what is inappropriate with the gaining of these rights, such as cruelty, lack of discipline and respect.

Society took parents' right to discipline their children away, which led to a total lack of respect and no self-worth among our children.  Without discipline, children no longer feel loved or guided.  They feel insecure and this leads to random acts of cruelty toward others in an attempt to gain the love and discipline they need.

There is also the need for a two income home these days.  A state also created by society's constant competitiveness for "bigger and better", driving the cost of living skyward.  This takes one parent away who used to oversee the children's behaviour and correct it immediately, rather than hours, days or weeks later.

Next is the parents' refusal to believe their child is capable of such inhumane, awful behaviour.  You can only help your child if you are willing to acknowledge the wrongness of their actions.  This is a huge problem as no parent wants to accept their child may be on the cruelty fast-track, rather than the kind, loving baby the child used to be.  Each and every parent has been guilty of this at some point.

Last, but certainly not least, is the responsibility of teachers and the school system.  It is pitiful, indeed, when teachers stand by idly while a group of children is cruel to one.  How can you possibly call yourself an "educator" when you stand by and allow the abject cruelty to continue while doing nothing?  I know many wonderful educators who willingly go the extra mile, but we have all heard stories on the news of those who do not.

Years ago, my step-son was being roughed up during a no-contact game at recess.  Finally, he swore at the boy who was playing rough.  The teacher standing by -- who had watched the entire altercation -- hauled him to the office and called my husband.  Once the story became clear, with the teacher admitting honestly to her lack of action until inappropriate language was used, my step-son was released and the other child disciplined for his despicable behaviour.  Hopefully, it was a lesson she learned well enough never to repeat.  Thankfully, the issue ended there.  Many times, it does not.

So what is the solution to ending the reign of bullies?  Simple.  Consequences that fit their crime.  Support from society.  Support from parents.  Support from schools.  This cruelty must end before countless children are forever scarred.

Re-Visiting Painful Emotions

This week our friends' little one was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  Since it is not my place to tell their story, I will continue with mine.

This horrible news sent me back to my own daughter's diagnosis a year and a half ago.  My heart shattered that day.  While it has mended, there is a great deal of scar tissue.  I hope the scars get tougher with time.  A piece of my heart cracked off for my friends' little one.  I have spent twenty-four hours putting it back in place, choking back tears and a huge lump in my throat.  This is a life-long journey, and it is not an easy one.  Only another parent who has walked a mile in T1D shoes can truly understand the grief, anger, and the acceptance that comes with time.

Does it ever get easier?  Yes, but at the same time, a very loud, resounding no.  Management gets easier with gained knowledge and experience.  Emotions become less raw.  What never seems to get easier is knowing I could lose my child to this disease.  Even if we are very careful and do our best to control it, one wrong step could turn into a nightmare.

Back then, words meant to soothe, full of others' beliefs didn't anger me the way they do now.  Don't tell me it was god's will (or not) that my child has a life long disease.  Or my absolute fav -- god only gives you what you can handle.  Well, then.  I have a few choice words for god.  None of which are fit to put on here.  I don't want my baby to "handle" this for the rest of her life. How do you even know there is a god?  And if he is so kind and caring, why is it his will to hurt little children?  Yet another un-ending argument...  

Be careful with your words to a parent grieving over a child's disease.  At first, it was easier not to acknowledge or talk about it, especially in the initial coping stages.  There is nothing worse than crying in public - at least for me.  

Now, ask me what you want.  I'm happy to share my knowledge, and, with some, the emotional journey this disease has sent us on.  A cure needs to be found so no else has to suffer needlessly.

Clouds of Negativity

It is really disappointing to return to a city, only to discover the same clouds of negativity choking the life out of what could be a wonderful place to live.  Attitudes define you.  They define your community.  The City of Grande Prairie is drowning in unhappiness and rotten attitudes.  With everyone's help, we can change this.

I recently lived in another province.  It, too has many issues, as does every place one might choose to live.  However, there were a few life lessons I learned there: 

a)  Slow down and enjoy life.
b)  Do your best to be kind.
c)  Don't sweat the small stuff.
d)  And, last but not least, public castigation for someone's mistakes is completely unnecessary.

Why would I want to address such a topic?  Reading local newspaper articles with name-calling in the public comments section.  Comments full of castigation for someone's mistake (as if they don't feel bad enough already).  A person in a position to change the value of these contents doesn't believe one person calling another "stupid" is vulgar.  Really???

A link that allows pictures to be posted of people who park too close to a line or take two spots.  Yet another has a picture of a young girl stating she is ugly when she clearly has a medical condition causing her appearance.

Public forums and media have a responsibility to moderate, delete and -- if needed -- legally charge people for their verbal cruelty.  There is no difference between these hurtful words and pictures than a schoolyard bully's actions or words.

Change is imperative.  I choose to be happy, kind, and to report inappropriate comments on public forums.  Just because your screen name gives you anonymity, does not give you the right to be cruel.  If I have to walk an extra three feet because someone parks weird, oh well.

A little kindness goes a long way.  State your opinion -- with dignity and respect.  Put yourself in that person's shoes before you castigate them.  Opinions and debates mean nothing if they are a mud-slinging match.

War on Drugs

As I watched a documentary yesterday about drug-abusers, it angered and sickened me.  In today's society, we have enabled an illegal habit by providing free syringes and a "safe" place to administer these illegal substances.  Yes, I understand the concept is to prevent communicable disease.

Why does this anger me so much?  Simple.  Addicts have choices -- just like the rest of the free-thinking world.  If you choose to take illegal drugs, then accept the consequences of sitting in a dirty back-alley with rats for company -- or worse -- when you "shoot up".

Why does the government provide syringes to addicts but not the citizens of this country with injection-required diseases -- such as diabetes? 

As the parent of a child with diabetes, I am well aware of the cost of syringes, needle tips for insulin pens, and infusion sets for insulin pumps.  The government certainly does not give us any supplies so my child can LIVE.  She has no choice but to accept the consequences of this disease.  She cannot choose to quit taking her insulin.  If she did, she would die.  Not withdraw.  Die.

An addict can choose to stop.  They also choose to continue this self-destructive habit.  Why help them?  The only help they should receive is a one-way ticket to rehabilitation, each and every time they are caught in possession of illegal drugs.  There should be no court date required.

Ditto for the traffickers.  No court trial.  No jury.  Just a judge sending them directly to prison.  Most are caught red-handed.  What more proof do you need?  If you are a trafficker, not born in Canada, you go back to your motherland.  Done deal.  Do not pass go; do not collect $200.

The government does not support the war on drugs when it supplies syringes and "safe" places for addicts to practice their self-destruction.  It enables them. 

Stop enabling addicts and start spending money on those with real, medical diseases.  Start providing the most up-to-date treatments for those who need them but cannot afford them. 

Enough already.  Quit dancing around the topic and deal with it.

Politically Correct??

Why have we, as a society, become so concerned about political correctness that our country's traditions are being swept under the carpet?  Why are we expected to cater to immigrants' beliefs, while ours are pushed aside or buried?  Why do we allow this?  Yes, we have become a multi-cultural society with a huge variety of religions, but I don't see why we should have to change the traditions we grew up with simply to please those who did not.  When you immigrate to a new country, aren't you supposed to embrace the country's traditions and begin anew?

Now, I'll tell you what got me thinking about this subject.  A school, which both my daughters attended, had to send a petition to parents to keep the Lord's prayer recital, after singing the national athem, each  morning.  Canada is a country founded in Christianity, and the Lord's prayer has been recited in schools for many generations.  Why must we give up a good, solid tradition simply because it offends someone's opposing faith or perhaps atheism?  People need something to believe in.

Why did Canadians allow Seiks to wear their turbans rather than the traditional RCMP hat back in the '80's?  I don't think it is racism (which, by the way, I believe governments create) to ask someone to honor our traditional uniform.  It is not progress.  It is erosion.

Yet another politically correct conversion is "Happy Holidays", instead of "Merry Christmas".  Why?  Since you are living in Canada, I assume you are Canadian; therefore, "Merry Christmas" should be okay rather than offensive.  Even Christmas is not what it used to be.  It has become a commercial farce, geared to spend, spend, spend.  Christmas used to be about kindness and love.

Change is a good thing.  Moving forward is a good thing.  The slow erosion of this country's values are not.

Automated Phone Systems

I think there is little else in this world as frustrating as an automated phone system.  It lists off the categories the company THINKS you may have issues with.  How often have you been left staring at your handset wondering which button to push?  Too many times to count!

What do you do?  I have been known to push any button that will get me a representative.  If they have to transfer me, so be it.  I have also been known to scream into the phone to "get me a @#$! person" and any other number of atrocities.  I must say, my husband was completely horrified the first time he heard me do this!  It's not like you can insult a computer with rudeness, right?  I have often wondered if this behaviour is recorded, but somehow never manage to control my frustration after selecting several different choices and still not getting a "person".

I understand why companies choose this method.  A computer is rarely overloaded with calls, sending all customers a busy signal for hours on end.  It is also more cost effective.  However, it would be nice to have fewer choices involved before getting that voice on the other end.  Often, I am so frustrated by the time I get the representative, I am barely civil. 

Do I feel for the people who have to answer cranky calls like mine?  Absolutely.  Maybe it's time for large companies to start putting a bit of exemplary customer service back.  Get rid of the cold computer that does nothing to help your customers.  Besides, most countries have employment issues right now.  Having a person answer the call, rather than a computer, would help this issue, would it not?

Women Abusing Men

As a society, we often talk about domestic violence.  Most often, it features men who abuse women.  Women speak out incessantly about the many atrocities they have suffered.  Unfortunately, I think it is just as common a problem the other direction, only we don't talk about it. 

Why?  Why is it an expectation that a man may not defend himself against a physically violent woman?  What are they supposed to do?  Take it?  Huge double standard, if you ask me.

First and foremost, men don't feel a need to talk everything to death.  Nor are women strong enough to inflict the drastic physical injuries men are capable of; therefore, the abuse is not as visible.  Plus, many women know how to play the "victim" in a manner that puts most top-notch actresses to shame.  Unfortunately, I have known a few women with these capabilities.

Then there is the issue of ego.  It is far more humiliating to be a man whose woman has "smacked" him around.  There really ARE a lot of men who will not hit a woman, no matter the circumstances.  I figure, as a woman, if you are dumb enough to hit someone much stronger than you, be prepared for what may come back.  Chances are, you can't handle it so don't go there.

When a man shows up at work with bruises and cuts, it is an automatic assumption that they were fighting with another man.  Maybe it was their significant other who put those marks there.  Men can turn it into a bar brawl and be a hero, if only for a moment.  Because it is still cool for men -- especially young ones -- to fight.

Do you know any men whose women are violent towards them?  I have known a few, some just in passing.  I've seen effects of female abuse.  It's not so different from a woman who has been abused.

Society needs to quit being blind.  Women are abusers, too.  No more blaming it completely on the man.  After all, it takes two to tango.

Employment Insurance (EI) vs. Foreign Workers

An interesting news story last night got my brain working.  Here in Canada, certain provinces have unemployment in the double digits.  Some of these provinces are hiring foreign workers to pick fruit, etc., in the summer due to the fact many Canadians think these jobs are beneath them.  Not to mention, they have a higher income on employment insurance than if they accepted one of these temporary positions. 

The part of this story that got me thinking was the government wants to "force" Canadians to take these positions so the unemployment numbers go down.  Is this a wrong expectation on the part of the government?  Not really.  People who are on EI are generally first to complain about foreign workers taking our jobs.  Yet, they are also the first ones to refuse a job because it doesn't pay as well as the EI they are receiving. Or because it is physically demanding.  Or, in their minds, demeaning, in comparison with the education they have.

Now, I have been in this boat.  It is extremely difficult to take a job that pays less than the insurance benefits you receive.  Particularly when you have a family to feed.  However, I do believe that Employment Insurance will make up the difference between a lower paying job and the claim you are currently on.  I could be wrong.  It has been many years since I asked these questions.

Basically, I think those collecting EI should have to work some of these temporary positions, with the expectation they will be "topped up" on their income if the job does not pay as much as the EI claim they are currently on.  Or, they could do other jobs -- such as keeping garbage picked up out of ditches, gutters, and parks -- that no one else has the time to do.  This is, to my way of thinking, also true of people on welfare.  There are many people collecting this social benefit who are perfectly capable of working but have many excuses why they do not.

Let's quit feeding another country's economy and feed our own.  Keep the money here.  In these tough economical times, isn't that an important thing to do?

People's Belief System

Ever wonder why people think theirs is the only correct belief system?  Especially Christianity.  I was raised in a good, old-fashioned Baptist church, with the solid belief that no one else's religion or opinions mattered.  We were steeped in right and wrong, black and white, with no acceptance for the general differences that make people interesting in the first place.

Christianity, itself, is a mockery of what the bible tries to teach.  I have come to believe that the bible is a history book.  Take from it what you will, but do not be brain-washed in the nastiness that is "Christianity".

Here is a perfect example of the hypocrisy of Christianity:  love thy neighbor as thyself.  Okay.  We all understand that statement, religious or not.  It boils down to simple human kindness.  The hypocrisy lies in the fact that so-called Christians feel it necessary to jam their beliefs down their neighbors' throats because their belief system is the only one that is right.  They judge their neighbors incessantly for real or imagined sins.  Many won't allow their children to play with a sinner's child because they don't want their children to question the correctness --or lack thereof -- of their beliefs.  Christians feel they are better than others and look down their noses at people who do not believe exactly the same as they do.  Of course, this behaviour is excused because God does not expect perfection, only the attempt.  Ergo, it is not hypocrisy.

In my many experiences, Christians are the most unaccepting people on this planet.  They are the reason there is racism (that goes back to the days of the Old Testament).  Blatant unacceptance of homosexuality, unwed mothers, divorces, and "sister" wives, to name only a few of the more prominent social issues.

My opinion of religion is it excuses one's bad behaviour:  the drug addict who blames the devil for putting them there (rather than acknowleding their own poor choices) and Jesus who saved them from it (again, nothing to do with their own inner strength and desire for a better life).  The one who starves on the street because Jesus didn't provide them a job (get off your ass and find one?).  The believer who allows a child to die because their regligion doesn't allow blood transfusions (seriously, you'd rather watch your child suffer when there is such an easy cure?).

This is not to say that the Bible doesn't contain many good life wisdoms.  It most certainly does.  The one I try to live by the most is "Do unto others as you would have done unto you".  This statement falls into the category of "karma", if you will.

I have turned my back on all organized religions, for the amount of evil they contain.  I believe, simply, that I must be kind to others.  I'll help you if I can.  If you are desperate for food, I will do my best to give you some.  Money?  Sorry -- lending money to friends is a sure death to an otherwise good friendship.  Need a place to stay? Okay.  For a short period of time.  Who knows when I may need all of these same kindnesses?

Am I a good person all the time?  Absolutely not.  It is what it is, but I try, without judgement, with kindness and acceptance.

Random Thoughts on Controversial Subjects

OK.  I was reading an article this week about the possiblity of prostitution in a good, old-fashioned "brothel" being legalized in Canada.  The reason is to provide a safer environment for women who choose this dangerous profession.  I say, why not?  Socially, it would make this profession less "visible".  It would certainly make it safer and more regulated.  Some women choose this profession simply to provide for their children.  Others, for more nefarious reasons.

I say this because -- as a society -- we have accepted so many other formerly socially unacceptable lifestyles.  Sex before marriage.  Teenage pregnancy.  Homosexuality.  Gay marriages.  Pornography.  Polygamy, while not completely accepted or legal, it sustains avid curiousity, thanks to reality TV shows like "Sister Wives".

So why not the oldest profession?  Why is it still considered dirty and unacceptable?  If it was made legal, would this not make their incomes taxable, too?  I say it would be a win-win for everyone involved.

Trouble with School

Amazing to think a school would ever NOT want parents' help managing a child's potentially life-threatening medical condition while at school.  This is exactly the case with our daughter's school.  Her teacher is wonderful and never minds when I come to help our daughter with diabetes related issues.  The administration staff?  Quite another story!!

She recently got her insulin pump but was not confident enough to use it without my supervision.  Understandably so, since an over-dosing of insulin could cause an extreme low.  Lows are very dangerous.  Heaven forbid I should help her with this!!!  Again, her teacher prefers me to come in.  Administration does their best to keep me out.  (I wonder what they have to hide?) 

When I asked why they ban certain foods other students are allergic to, the response was to keep them safe while they are on school premises.  How are they to keep my daughter safe when they have no formal training with diabetes and REFUSE to listen to us on the correct methods of her treatment?  Not only do they refuse to listen to treatment methods, they also refuse to believe how serious this disease is.  It's like they think we are over-reacting.  I wish!  Why take a child's allergy seriously and not diabetes?  They both have the potential to kill.

How are we supposed to teach them -- not that I trust anyone at her school after their gross mistreatment -- when we are still learning the pump, too?  They can't keep my daughter safe because they refuse to acknowledge the seriousness of her situation.  So wouldn't the next logical step be to allow me access to do what needs to be done to keep my daughter safe?  No.  Not here.  They make us fight for every inch.

There will be some serious questioning of administration staff at the next school, along with our expectations in writing.  She'll not be attending the same school next fall.