Educate Yourself

Most people know my youngest daughter has Type 1 Diabetes.  Our third anniversary of dealing with this disease is coming up at the end of this month.  Normally, I'm not an over-the-top, in-yo'-face sort of mom.  Especially now that my daughter is at an age where she is more and more capable of caring for herself and her chronic disease.

However, I read a few comments recently from a man named Roger Bezanis who is practicing a paleo diet and scientology.  His comments were spectacularly rude, suggesting Type 1 Diabetes is a figment of the entire medical community's imagination.  That parents were completely gullible and brainwashed; therefore, allowing the medical community to treat, rather than "cure" this chronic disease.  He also claimed that a "de-tox and eating clean food" would cure Type 1.  Normally, I don't allow ridiculous statements such as these to bother me, but the blatant ignorance of his statements led me to believe he needs some serious education as to what this disease actually is.

For those of you who don't know what Type 1 Diabetes is, it's an auto-immune disease that causes your body to kill the cells in the pancreas that produce insulin.  Meaning, without insulin therapy, these people will die because their bodies CANNOT produce insulin.  The sugar gets "stuck" in the blood stream, if you will, without insulin to help it exit the blood stream.

Using a "detoxification" process will not cure my daughter.  The cells that produce insulin are no longer there.  I seriously doubt detoxifying her body will allow those cells to miraculously regenerate.  A "clean diet" won't cure her either.  Even with a "clean diet", there are a certain number of carbohydrates consumed, which your body will turn to glucose (sugar).  Without insulin, glucose will not enter her blood stream essentially starving her while her blood sugar climbs, causing a very serious condition called diabetic-ketoacidosis.  Diabetic-ketoacidosis is a condition where the body begins to break down fat for food.  It causes vomiting, dehydration, odd breathing and finally coma.

It is in this state my daughter was diagnosed.  She didn't have the common "call signs" of diabetes -- excessive thirst and urinating and/or weight loss.  Nope.  The evening before she was diagnosed she chugged two litres of apple juice, claiming to still be dying of thirst.  The following morning, she was throwing up.  As she was nine at the time, I chalked it up to a stomach flu.  By late afternoon, I realized it wasn't your run-of-the-mill flu.  She had literally shrunk before my very eyes -- by approximately ten pounds.  Yes.  Ten pounds.  The dehydration had become so severe, she looked like an eighty-year old woman.  Her eyes were black and sunken into the sockets.  Nothing -- I repeat, nothing -- stayed down.  Not water.  Not gingerale.  Nothing.

At the emergency department, I carried my child in, holding her because she was unable to stand on her own.  There was a woman in front of us, crying as she spoke to the triage nurse.  She was a new mom of a two-month-old baby and suspected she was suffering from post-partum depression.  To my everlasting shame, I remember thinking "Suck it up, Princess.  My baby is really sick and needs help."  In fact, only moments later, I pushed my way through the double doors into the emergency room, explaining my daughter's symptoms as we entered.  Three doctors and multiple nurses grabbed her and took her to a stretcher at the end.  By the time my oldest daughter and I reached her stretcher, one of the doctors asked me how long she'd been diabetic.  I can't describe the absolute shock and devastation I felt.  There are no words.

My husband finished work and broke down when he saw our daughter so ill, lying on that stretcher.  He took our oldest daughter home, who was exceptionally distraught seeing her little sister was so sick.

I spent nearly twenty-four hours in the emergency room with her.  Watching them draw blood from her little arm every hour or two.  Watched them struggle to start another I.V.  Watched a little life come back into her cheeks as her body became hydrated once more.

Life was hell for a few months after her diagnosis.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm not going to make this diagnosis and adjustment period sound nice.  It wasn't.  Heck, we still have days where each and everyone of us hate this damned disease.  It's just that our coping skills have grown and matured.

Unfortunately, this man's blatant ignorance and claims to "cure" this life-long, chronic disease made all of my coping skills hit the floor -- the basement floor, actually.  It belittled every step forward we had gained.  Demeaned the struggle my daughter has had just to live.  Get that?  Just.  To.  Live.  If he had been in the room with me, he would have been well and truly educated.  Just not in a manner to compliment me.

My message to people like this is to educate yourselves.  Don't assume you know everything there is to know about a medical condition or how to "cure" or treat it -- unless you've walked a mile in the disease's shoes.  I'm not saying alternative medicine doesn't have it's place in this world.  But, be careful what you preach when your knowledge base is limited.

And finally, if you must critique, for god's sakes, BE KIND.  There was absolutely, positively, NO EXCUSE for the rudeness Roger Bezanis used.

Snow Removal

This is one hot topic in the great metropolis of Grande Prairie every winter.  It has improved over the last few years, I will give the City that.  The main routes are done in a  more timely manner.  Residential roads, not so much, and I guess that's where the complaints begin.

In a recent article in the newspaper, the head of the snow removal department felt it necessary to remind all of us we live in Northern Alberta.  Where we get snow.  Every winter.  Hmmm.  Quite certain we never realized that little tid-bit of information before!

Then I read a similar article, from one of the editors.  Again, with the reminder we live where there is snow.  Still hadn't realized that.  Thanks for reminding us.  Again.  Apparently, those of us who live in the North have brains the size of peanuts or baby toes because we must be constantly reminded of our demographics.

There were a lot of years I often wondered why people complained.  I guess I had gotten used to the roads and invested in a vehicle with four-wheel drive. 

Also, I noticed many of the people in Grande Prairie complaining the loudest about our winter streets were often from back east (meaning Ontario and further east).  Why did they complain so bitterly?  I could never figure this out.  Until we lived in the little province of Newfoundland.  Now I understand completely!

In Newfoundland, they get SNOW.  Not light fluffy powder that takes twenty-four hours to accumulate six to eight inches.  Wet, heavy stuff that gives you eight inches in three to four hours.  Snow so thick and heavy you have to shovel/snow blow many times during a snow day.  Why?  If you don't, you'll never be unburied from it for the rest of the winter. 

This concept doesn't just apply to people's driveways in Newfoundland.  It also applies to their roads.  They don't wait till the snow quits.  They can't.  I tell you what, though.  Their roads are BARE within twenty-four to forty-eight hours following a snow storm.  All of them:  the mains, the secondary routes AND residential streets.  How do they do this?  How do they budget for this?  I don't know.  What I do know, is theirs is a poorer province than ours.  One that manages to budget wisely every year for amazing snow removal practices.

My question is this:  If a small, poor province can budget wisely AND carry out such exemplary snow removal, why does a wealthy city, in a wealthy province, have such a hard time delivering a similar service to its citizens?

Here's my take on all of this:  We don't need a 17 million dollar sports field.  We didn't need a 20 million dollar multi-plex in order to keep up to Dawson Creek.  City Hall doesn't need a $500,000 dollar renovation to make the main floor more "accessible" or "appealing". 

What we do need is the safety clean streets provide to each and every one of us driving the roads every day.  We should not have to own a four-wheel/all-wheel drive just so we don't get stuck backing out of our driveways.  We should not have to worry about sliding through intersections because they are too slippery to stop -- even if you were going at a crawl.  Most of the fender-benders around town during the winter would be prevented IF our roads were cleaned in a timely manner.

I believe the City of Grande Prairie can do better with snow removal.  After all, we ARE a Northern Alberta city that gets snow EVERY winter.  If they don't know how to budget and run a well-oiled snow removal program, perhaps they should visit Newfoundland to see how they budget and implement such an amazing snow removal program.

And, please, quit insulting our intelligence by reminding us winter comes every year where we live.

Love Christmas?

Ever wonder why some people love Christmas sooo much it makes you sick?  Christmas trees and decorations up the moment Halloween is done... Extravagant light displays -- up and on -- no later than mid-November...  Counting down the days from the beginning of September or earlier...  Hell, the stores don't even wait for Halloween to be over before they are bringing out the Christmas stuff...

Me?  I've lost the Christmas spirit.  It is 100% commercialized and has simply become a competition as to who can give the biggest and best gifts to family and friends, rather than a thoughtful gift that actually means something to both the giver and receiver.  It's not really about giving any more.  It's about the "give-me's".

Everyone has their hand out at Christmas -- various charities, churches, and community organizations -- with pleas about it being the season to give.  What about the rest of the year?  Don't people need help to eat, keep a roof over their heads, experience a little kindness throughout the rest of the year?  Why is it only at Christmas these needs suddenly become so demanding?

Christmas isn't even about family any more.  Not really.  Not when you hear how so many people speak about their family members the rest of the year; how hateful they are, misguided, stupid, selfish, completely messed up.  It's a prerequisite to spend time with them during the "Season" -- not because you love or enjoy being around them but because you have to...

So go ahead.  Label me a Scrooge.  Or a Humbug.  Or any other label you want to attach to my disgust of a previously enjoyed holiday.  A holiday that once had meaning, fun, kindness and love attached to it.  I plan to spend it with my husband and daughters, thankful for a few days off work and the excuse to eat a great meal...

Rights versus Responsibility

Today, people talk a lot about their rights.  We all have them, but some people are definitely more knowledgeable about their rights.  Rights are supposed to be the same, no matter our age or race, aren't they?

What are rights, anyway? 

Basically, rights are a set of rules to follow.  We all have the right to drive.  We have the right to a high school education.  We all have the right to work.  We have the right to health care.  There are too many rights to list.

What society has forgotten to teach people is how to exercise their rights responsibly.  In fact, no one is responsible or accountable for their actions anymore, but they certainly know their rights.  If you make a mistake, own it.  Don't make excuses.  Don't scream about your rights because they are the same as mine.

Now, let's talk about rights versus responsibility.

If you pass the driver's exam, you have earned the right to drive.  Does this mean once you have your licence you can throw out all of the rules of the road, simply because you have the earned right to drive?  No.  You have the responsibility to drive defensively and to follow the rules so you don't endanger others or yourself.  This doesn't just go for driving.  People also have a tendency to park in the most deplorable manners, endangering everyone, because it's their "right".

Working is also a right that needs to be earned.  If you have no work ethic and refuse to accept the responsibilities of your job, soon you will be unemployed -- unless you know how to kiss the boss's ass exceptionally well.

Healthcare?  Well, healthcare is one of those where taxpayers are the clients.  A little fact often forgotten by those working within the system.  Instead, patients are often treated as second class citizens and their issues are not properly addressed.  Rather, they are shuffled out as quickly as possible.  There is very little responsibility -- and certainly no accountability -- placed at their feet.  Now don't get me wrong, I know some amazing nurses.

The next time you feel the need to spout off about your rights, remember you have the responsibility to use those rights in an appropriate manner.  Don't endanger someone because the idea of your rights super-cedes that of responsibility.

Belittling Young Celebrities

After the recent fiasco following the MTV awards show and Miley Cyrus, it occurred to me the American media is particularly mean to the young stars who have grown up in their midst.

The media completely shredded Britney Spears, yet wondered why she finally "cracked" up.  She was the American public's sweetheart for many years, with those innocent eyes and soft baby voice -- until she became a young woman making what would be considered normal mistakes had she not been famous.  The criticism began with her Vegas wedding and subsequent whirlwind divorce.

As a young mother being chased by paparazzi, they criticized her for not putting her baby in the car seat.  I'm sure she was just trying to get away from all the freaks putting her child in harm's way, pushing and shoving, in their attempt to get pictures.  Many of us probably would have forgotten in those flight-or-fight circumstances as well.  Personally, this is a slight that would be difficult to swallow.  I remember being a first-time mom and how other's criticisms made me feel.  The constant belittling of her parenting skills must have been devastating to the very fabric of her soul.

And let's not forget what the media has done to Lindsay Lohan.

Now, the paparazzi is after new blood.  Miley Cyrus's.  Has she given them plenty to talk about?  Most definitely and most of her behaviours aren't appropriate for the younger audiences.  Yet, I can't help but wonder:  had she begun her career as a twenty-something, if the media would be so mean?  I doubt it.  There are many pop stars, like Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera or Madonna, who are rarely criticized for their overly sexual stunts during a show.  It's because Miley Cyrus was sweet, little Hanna Montana who always did her damnedest to make the best decisions and correct her mistakes.

Do you remember being a rebellious young adult?  I certainly do.  The more people talked and criticized, the more I fed that rumor mill, each act a little more outrageous than the one before.  Why?  It amused me greatly on my quest to full adulthood.  I was no longer the child who was required to listen to her elders about proper behaviours and life in general.  Unfortunately, the rumor mill will crush you unless you get out at exactly the right moment.

I cannot possibly imagine the public pressure placed on some of these young celebrities.  Having been the daughter of a minister, I well remember the pressure people place on you for making normal mistakes -- not sure why a minister's daughter should be exempt from making mistakes.  Thankfully, I did not have to live my life in the public eye because that would've been one hundred times worse!

The media is no different than a critical congregation was for me.  These young people have been raised in the public eye, and the media creates a public feeding frenzy.  Gaga or Madonna would have been lauded for a brilliant, racy performance.  Miley is criticized. 

What these young people choose to portray once they have grown up is no one's business.  Leave them alone.

Sensitivity Really Burns My Butt

You know what really burns my butt?  People who cry racism or discrimination at every little slight that comes their way.

Recently, a First Nations lady in B.C. had a media melt-down because of some very colorful head dresses being sold in a store.  By the way, my daughters thought they were absolutely gorgeous!  No doubt these head dresses were designed as mementos for those visiting the province, wanting a little piece to remember their vacation by.  She immediately takes offense, screams discrimination and insensitivity to her culture, resulting in removal of the head dresses from all the shelves of this chain store.

Really?  Very well.  We won't buy any more beaded moccasins made by First Nations, as a means of income.  We won't buy totem poles designed by you, either, even though your art is spectacular.  We won't try to learn more about your culture.  This lady made it very clear anyone outside of their culture must "earn" the right to own even a tiny piece of it.

Quite frankly, I have always been very curious about the Indian culture in our country.  Granted, I don't know as much as I might want to, but I certainly would not have been able to deduce buying a head dress, full of colorful feathers, would have offended anyone.  In fact, I would have been thrilled to purchase a little piece of this culture, authentic or otherwise.

How can you educate others about your culture if pieces of it are not out there for us to ask questions about?  Why would you immediately scream discrimination and insensitivity to your culture?  Instead of having a media melt-down, you should have used the opportunity to properly educate those of us who had no knowledge a head dress was to be earned -- not bought.  Rather, you made a nation shake their heads at your crazy behaviour.  No one was intentionally insulting you or your culture.  It's called lack of knowledge.

The same week as this story breaks in the media, Oprah gets her nose out of joint because a sales clerk did not allow her to "see" a certain purse.  What was the ridiculous price tag again?  I can't even remember.  Anyway, the first thing she assumes is racial discrimination.  Holy crap!

Personally, her OWN network isn't doing as well as she thought it would (a name can only carry so much weight after all), and she needed some serious free publicity.  She got it, but for the wrong reasons.  It would have been more amazing to see her helping those less fortunate than her.  I mean, seriously, have you not seen the pictures of New Orleans?  So many areas are still completely devastated many years after Hurricane Katrina went through.  Sandra Bullock won an award for humanitarian of the year for just such help.

Those of different racial ethnicities need to quit using the discrimination card for every little slight.  Some things are just life.  They weren't done to intentionally hurt your feelings or the pride you have for your ethnic background.  Even white people have different backgrounds we are proud of -- whether they are Irish, French, German, English, or Italian.  Are these not ethnicities, too?  Or are they simply "white"?

If racial discrimination is to end, we all need to be treated equal.  We need to quit screaming our woes to the media.  Every single one of us bleeds red.  Educate rather than try to become ethnically more superior because there is no such thing -- Hitler found that out.  What else could all this media posturing is about anyway?

Crushes After Marriage?

A very interesting conversation with my fourteen year old daughter compelled me to write about some realities of life.  It began with:  "Mom, do you sometimes still get a crush on other boys -- even though you're married to dad?"

The answer is, of course, yes, but I did caution her a crush is just that, and no more -- like staring at Channing Tatum or Matthew McC. on the big screen.  What a person has inside their marriage far exceeds anything ever received from a crush.  

Sometimes a crush is a meeting of the minds -- it's not even physical, just a compatibility of thoughts making you feel great.  Other times, a crush is all about lust and excitement occasionally taking a break in a long marriage.  My husband and I have been married for sixteen years and together for a total of twenty-one. 

She asked me if I thought it was wrong to have a crush when you are married.  Absolutely not.  In my experience, it adds a bit of excitement back into your marriage to realize someone out there still "wants" you.  In the back of your mind, remembering you are with the only man who accepts and loves you exactly as you are -- even on the bitchy, bad-hair days -- is heady stuff.

And, that is where the power of a crush loses it's hold -- with the knowledge no one will ever love you as whole-heartedly as the man you chose to marry.  The man who devoted himself to you.  Cares for you.  Raises children with you.  Provides for you.  Has seen you at your worst and lifted you to your best.

At the end of our conversation, she simply nodded her head and said, "Hmm.  So that's how it works.  I've been wondering for a while now."

:)