Snow Removal

This is one hot topic in the great metropolis of Grande Prairie every winter.  It has improved over the last few years, I will give the City that.  The main routes are done in a  more timely manner.  Residential roads, not so much, and I guess that's where the complaints begin.

In a recent article in the newspaper, the head of the snow removal department felt it necessary to remind all of us we live in Northern Alberta.  Where we get snow.  Every winter.  Hmmm.  Quite certain we never realized that little tid-bit of information before!

Then I read a similar article, from one of the editors.  Again, with the reminder we live where there is snow.  Still hadn't realized that.  Thanks for reminding us.  Again.  Apparently, those of us who live in the North have brains the size of peanuts or baby toes because we must be constantly reminded of our demographics.

There were a lot of years I often wondered why people complained.  I guess I had gotten used to the roads and invested in a vehicle with four-wheel drive. 

Also, I noticed many of the people in Grande Prairie complaining the loudest about our winter streets were often from back east (meaning Ontario and further east).  Why did they complain so bitterly?  I could never figure this out.  Until we lived in the little province of Newfoundland.  Now I understand completely!

In Newfoundland, they get SNOW.  Not light fluffy powder that takes twenty-four hours to accumulate six to eight inches.  Wet, heavy stuff that gives you eight inches in three to four hours.  Snow so thick and heavy you have to shovel/snow blow many times during a snow day.  Why?  If you don't, you'll never be unburied from it for the rest of the winter. 

This concept doesn't just apply to people's driveways in Newfoundland.  It also applies to their roads.  They don't wait till the snow quits.  They can't.  I tell you what, though.  Their roads are BARE within twenty-four to forty-eight hours following a snow storm.  All of them:  the mains, the secondary routes AND residential streets.  How do they do this?  How do they budget for this?  I don't know.  What I do know, is theirs is a poorer province than ours.  One that manages to budget wisely every year for amazing snow removal practices.

My question is this:  If a small, poor province can budget wisely AND carry out such exemplary snow removal, why does a wealthy city, in a wealthy province, have such a hard time delivering a similar service to its citizens?

Here's my take on all of this:  We don't need a 17 million dollar sports field.  We didn't need a 20 million dollar multi-plex in order to keep up to Dawson Creek.  City Hall doesn't need a $500,000 dollar renovation to make the main floor more "accessible" or "appealing". 

What we do need is the safety clean streets provide to each and every one of us driving the roads every day.  We should not have to own a four-wheel/all-wheel drive just so we don't get stuck backing out of our driveways.  We should not have to worry about sliding through intersections because they are too slippery to stop -- even if you were going at a crawl.  Most of the fender-benders around town during the winter would be prevented IF our roads were cleaned in a timely manner.

I believe the City of Grande Prairie can do better with snow removal.  After all, we ARE a Northern Alberta city that gets snow EVERY winter.  If they don't know how to budget and run a well-oiled snow removal program, perhaps they should visit Newfoundland to see how they budget and implement such an amazing snow removal program.

And, please, quit insulting our intelligence by reminding us winter comes every year where we live.

Love Christmas?

Ever wonder why some people love Christmas sooo much it makes you sick?  Christmas trees and decorations up the moment Halloween is done... Extravagant light displays -- up and on -- no later than mid-November...  Counting down the days from the beginning of September or earlier...  Hell, the stores don't even wait for Halloween to be over before they are bringing out the Christmas stuff...

Me?  I've lost the Christmas spirit.  It is 100% commercialized and has simply become a competition as to who can give the biggest and best gifts to family and friends, rather than a thoughtful gift that actually means something to both the giver and receiver.  It's not really about giving any more.  It's about the "give-me's".

Everyone has their hand out at Christmas -- various charities, churches, and community organizations -- with pleas about it being the season to give.  What about the rest of the year?  Don't people need help to eat, keep a roof over their heads, experience a little kindness throughout the rest of the year?  Why is it only at Christmas these needs suddenly become so demanding?

Christmas isn't even about family any more.  Not really.  Not when you hear how so many people speak about their family members the rest of the year; how hateful they are, misguided, stupid, selfish, completely messed up.  It's a prerequisite to spend time with them during the "Season" -- not because you love or enjoy being around them but because you have to...

So go ahead.  Label me a Scrooge.  Or a Humbug.  Or any other label you want to attach to my disgust of a previously enjoyed holiday.  A holiday that once had meaning, fun, kindness and love attached to it.  I plan to spend it with my husband and daughters, thankful for a few days off work and the excuse to eat a great meal...

Rights versus Responsibility

Today, people talk a lot about their rights.  We all have them, but some people are definitely more knowledgeable about their rights.  Rights are supposed to be the same, no matter our age or race, aren't they?

What are rights, anyway? 

Basically, rights are a set of rules to follow.  We all have the right to drive.  We have the right to a high school education.  We all have the right to work.  We have the right to health care.  There are too many rights to list.

What society has forgotten to teach people is how to exercise their rights responsibly.  In fact, no one is responsible or accountable for their actions anymore, but they certainly know their rights.  If you make a mistake, own it.  Don't make excuses.  Don't scream about your rights because they are the same as mine.

Now, let's talk about rights versus responsibility.

If you pass the driver's exam, you have earned the right to drive.  Does this mean once you have your licence you can throw out all of the rules of the road, simply because you have the earned right to drive?  No.  You have the responsibility to drive defensively and to follow the rules so you don't endanger others or yourself.  This doesn't just go for driving.  People also have a tendency to park in the most deplorable manners, endangering everyone, because it's their "right".

Working is also a right that needs to be earned.  If you have no work ethic and refuse to accept the responsibilities of your job, soon you will be unemployed -- unless you know how to kiss the boss's ass exceptionally well.

Healthcare?  Well, healthcare is one of those where taxpayers are the clients.  A little fact often forgotten by those working within the system.  Instead, patients are often treated as second class citizens and their issues are not properly addressed.  Rather, they are shuffled out as quickly as possible.  There is very little responsibility -- and certainly no accountability -- placed at their feet.  Now don't get me wrong, I know some amazing nurses.

The next time you feel the need to spout off about your rights, remember you have the responsibility to use those rights in an appropriate manner.  Don't endanger someone because the idea of your rights super-cedes that of responsibility.

Belittling Young Celebrities

After the recent fiasco following the MTV awards show and Miley Cyrus, it occurred to me the American media is particularly mean to the young stars who have grown up in their midst.

The media completely shredded Britney Spears, yet wondered why she finally "cracked" up.  She was the American public's sweetheart for many years, with those innocent eyes and soft baby voice -- until she became a young woman making what would be considered normal mistakes had she not been famous.  The criticism began with her Vegas wedding and subsequent whirlwind divorce.

As a young mother being chased by paparazzi, they criticized her for not putting her baby in the car seat.  I'm sure she was just trying to get away from all the freaks putting her child in harm's way, pushing and shoving, in their attempt to get pictures.  Many of us probably would have forgotten in those flight-or-fight circumstances as well.  Personally, this is a slight that would be difficult to swallow.  I remember being a first-time mom and how other's criticisms made me feel.  The constant belittling of her parenting skills must have been devastating to the very fabric of her soul.

And let's not forget what the media has done to Lindsay Lohan.

Now, the paparazzi is after new blood.  Miley Cyrus's.  Has she given them plenty to talk about?  Most definitely and most of her behaviours aren't appropriate for the younger audiences.  Yet, I can't help but wonder:  had she begun her career as a twenty-something, if the media would be so mean?  I doubt it.  There are many pop stars, like Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera or Madonna, who are rarely criticized for their overly sexual stunts during a show.  It's because Miley Cyrus was sweet, little Hanna Montana who always did her damnedest to make the best decisions and correct her mistakes.

Do you remember being a rebellious young adult?  I certainly do.  The more people talked and criticized, the more I fed that rumor mill, each act a little more outrageous than the one before.  Why?  It amused me greatly on my quest to full adulthood.  I was no longer the child who was required to listen to her elders about proper behaviours and life in general.  Unfortunately, the rumor mill will crush you unless you get out at exactly the right moment.

I cannot possibly imagine the public pressure placed on some of these young celebrities.  Having been the daughter of a minister, I well remember the pressure people place on you for making normal mistakes -- not sure why a minister's daughter should be exempt from making mistakes.  Thankfully, I did not have to live my life in the public eye because that would've been one hundred times worse!

The media is no different than a critical congregation was for me.  These young people have been raised in the public eye, and the media creates a public feeding frenzy.  Gaga or Madonna would have been lauded for a brilliant, racy performance.  Miley is criticized. 

What these young people choose to portray once they have grown up is no one's business.  Leave them alone.

Sensitivity Really Burns My Butt

You know what really burns my butt?  People who cry racism or discrimination at every little slight that comes their way.

Recently, a First Nations lady in B.C. had a media melt-down because of some very colorful head dresses being sold in a store.  By the way, my daughters thought they were absolutely gorgeous!  No doubt these head dresses were designed as mementos for those visiting the province, wanting a little piece to remember their vacation by.  She immediately takes offense, screams discrimination and insensitivity to her culture, resulting in removal of the head dresses from all the shelves of this chain store.

Really?  Very well.  We won't buy any more beaded moccasins made by First Nations, as a means of income.  We won't buy totem poles designed by you, either, even though your art is spectacular.  We won't try to learn more about your culture.  This lady made it very clear anyone outside of their culture must "earn" the right to own even a tiny piece of it.

Quite frankly, I have always been very curious about the Indian culture in our country.  Granted, I don't know as much as I might want to, but I certainly would not have been able to deduce buying a head dress, full of colorful feathers, would have offended anyone.  In fact, I would have been thrilled to purchase a little piece of this culture, authentic or otherwise.

How can you educate others about your culture if pieces of it are not out there for us to ask questions about?  Why would you immediately scream discrimination and insensitivity to your culture?  Instead of having a media melt-down, you should have used the opportunity to properly educate those of us who had no knowledge a head dress was to be earned -- not bought.  Rather, you made a nation shake their heads at your crazy behaviour.  No one was intentionally insulting you or your culture.  It's called lack of knowledge.

The same week as this story breaks in the media, Oprah gets her nose out of joint because a sales clerk did not allow her to "see" a certain purse.  What was the ridiculous price tag again?  I can't even remember.  Anyway, the first thing she assumes is racial discrimination.  Holy crap!

Personally, her OWN network isn't doing as well as she thought it would (a name can only carry so much weight after all), and she needed some serious free publicity.  She got it, but for the wrong reasons.  It would have been more amazing to see her helping those less fortunate than her.  I mean, seriously, have you not seen the pictures of New Orleans?  So many areas are still completely devastated many years after Hurricane Katrina went through.  Sandra Bullock won an award for humanitarian of the year for just such help.

Those of different racial ethnicities need to quit using the discrimination card for every little slight.  Some things are just life.  They weren't done to intentionally hurt your feelings or the pride you have for your ethnic background.  Even white people have different backgrounds we are proud of -- whether they are Irish, French, German, English, or Italian.  Are these not ethnicities, too?  Or are they simply "white"?

If racial discrimination is to end, we all need to be treated equal.  We need to quit screaming our woes to the media.  Every single one of us bleeds red.  Educate rather than try to become ethnically more superior because there is no such thing -- Hitler found that out.  What else could all this media posturing is about anyway?

Crushes After Marriage?

A very interesting conversation with my fourteen year old daughter compelled me to write about some realities of life.  It began with:  "Mom, do you sometimes still get a crush on other boys -- even though you're married to dad?"

The answer is, of course, yes, but I did caution her a crush is just that, and no more -- like staring at Channing Tatum or Matthew McC. on the big screen.  What a person has inside their marriage far exceeds anything ever received from a crush.  

Sometimes a crush is a meeting of the minds -- it's not even physical, just a compatibility of thoughts making you feel great.  Other times, a crush is all about lust and excitement occasionally taking a break in a long marriage.  My husband and I have been married for sixteen years and together for a total of twenty-one. 

She asked me if I thought it was wrong to have a crush when you are married.  Absolutely not.  In my experience, it adds a bit of excitement back into your marriage to realize someone out there still "wants" you.  In the back of your mind, remembering you are with the only man who accepts and loves you exactly as you are -- even on the bitchy, bad-hair days -- is heady stuff.

And, that is where the power of a crush loses it's hold -- with the knowledge no one will ever love you as whole-heartedly as the man you chose to marry.  The man who devoted himself to you.  Cares for you.  Raises children with you.  Provides for you.  Has seen you at your worst and lifted you to your best.

At the end of our conversation, she simply nodded her head and said, "Hmm.  So that's how it works.  I've been wondering for a while now."

:)

Inner Bitch

The other day, I unleashed the bitch.  I haven't allowed her out of the cage for about two years.  Last time I let her out to play, it was ugly!  Quite frankly, my inner bitch scared me, so she's been under very tight ropes and chains.

 

Now, for those of you who know me well, I'm sure you've heard me say I come from a long line of nasty bitches.  And I do.  Honest.  Have you ever seen a movie called "Throw Mama from the Train"?  It's old, probably from the 80's.  Anyway, the mama in this movie is the spitting image of my great grandmother, on my father's side - especially in physical appearance.  My first experience with a soul-deep, terrifying meanness was with her.  She often stayed with my grandmother as she was not very well, and grandma took care of her.  My sisters and I were young, and I do mean young!  I'm the middle sister and was about 3.  This old woman, who stayed in bed all day, was quite the curiosity to such young girls.  The three of us were peeking around the door frame at this grumpy pariah, when my younger sister decided to run into the room yelling "beep-beep-ba-bop-bop"!  Startled, my older sister and I pulled away from the doorway, and my little sister streaked past us like a bolt of lightning.  What she didn't bother to do was warn us the ancient lump in the bed could -- and was -- moving!  Throw Mama from the Train was suddenly filling the doorway, a red, plaid slipper in her hand.  She paddled our little backsides all the way to the entrance.  To clarify, it didn't hurt.  The all-encompassing fear is what I remember!  Our mother burst into laughter.  No doubt it looked hilarious!  We collapsed into terrified tears.  And Grandma?  Well Grandma, was angrier than a cat thrown in the sprinkler!  To this day, I get a jolt of fear when I hear intense displeasure in an old lady's voice!

 

Anyway, the rest of the women on both sides of the clan are of the passive-aggressive mean.  You know the sort -- snide comments, buried beneath a thin veil of humor, with the odd blunt flourish.  Which, by the way, I really do prefer blunt because I really hate wondering what the hell you really meant!  Now, that being said, I also possess a healthy dose of passive aggression, but I do try really hard not to let that bitch out.  However, the bitch I do let out on occasion is the border-line psychotic, overly blunt one.  She's the one who is so verbally aggressive -- although, rarely the one to pick the scrap -- people usually call the cops on her!

 

I'm full circle to the day I unleashed this nasty side of me.  We live near the hospital, and we all know hospitals never provide enough parking.  For any of their patrons. We constantly have battles with hospital workers who block driveways, crowd streets, park too close to corners, crosswalks, and fire hydrants.  All pretty major safety concerns.  Neighborhood children must be dangerously exposed before they can determine if it is okay to cross streets.  Same issue when driving -- it really is a crap shoot whether you'll make it safely into the roadway or be hit by a vehicle you were unable to see until it's too late.  And the fire hydrant.  I don't think I need to say more on that one.  So we jumped through all the City's hoops and brought up solid into a brick wall.  Same wall with Alberta Health Services,  only that wall is higher and thicker because NO government agency gives a shit about the little guy.

 

Frustration had been building up for weeks and months, along with a feeling of powerlessness that sinks anyone's ship.  I came home from work, to a hospital worker hogging the space in front of my home.  She'd been asked nicely to park elsewhere on another occasion.   I squeezed my car behind hers.  There was roughly one to two inches between my bumper and hers, and I wasn't blocking my neighbor's driveway -- a.k.a. parked legally.  I marched into my house and wrote a note that this was not a commercial parking lot, park at your place of employment. 

 

Unfortunately, I had just gotten comfortable in my deck chair when she finished her shift.  She put her kid in the car, then asked me why I parked so close to her.  Um, duh.  I live here.  She informed me she has the right to park wherever she wants to and I shouldn't park so close to her vehicle.  Really?  Well, I'm ashamed to say the reins on psycho bitch snapped.  I'm surprised the missus didn't hear them go!  I called her many unsavory names (compliments of working with rednecks for many years and a certain Newfie who taught me many more) with many of the options she could CHOOSE that homeowners cannot.  At which point she called me white trash, I called her something even worse and to keep her vehicle away from my property permanently. 

 

Well, I guess she forgot her big girl panties that day.  Or maybe this piece of white trash outsmarted her with unsavory words and a heavy dose of common sense!  Either way, an RCMP officer showed up at my door and was swiftly told to do something a little more useful with her time -- it was said a bit more politically correct than that, but you get the drift!

 

You know what I had forgotten?  It feels really good to let psycho-bitch off her leash!  She didn't scare me this time.  She wasn't all the way free of her chains, merely a snapping, snarling wild thing on the end of a rope.  And I think she made a very clear - albeit, rude - point.  After all, we homeowners have rights, too.  It felt great to fight back because I've been tolerant so long.

Lesson learned.  Let your inner bitch out and take her for a run once in a while.  You'll feel better when you're not just being a doormat for muddy shoes.  :)

Positions of Authority

"With great power, comes great responsibility. "

Truer words have never been spoken.  Why then do people -- such as the RCMP -- abuse their power?

I think just about everyone nation wide has heard about the flooding in southern Alberta.  A little town called High River was completely devastated by this flood.  Thirteen thousand people are homeless.  Homeless.

At first firefighters, military and RCMP were part of the solution, ensuring flooded residents reached safety.  All that has changed.

RCMP have been illegally entering homes and confiscating weapons, in the name of safety.  There are blockades set up.  There is tight control on those allowed to enter this devastated zone.

It is the RCMP and military who have forcibly entered many homes, presumably to ensure residents' safety, yet they have allowed some residents to stay because they refuse to evacuate.  They have made people's formerly secure homes unsecure; thereby giving them an excuse to remove weapons in the interest of public safety.

I believe this act would be called break and entry, with a few theft charges rammed in there.  Why are the officers committing these crimes not being charged? If they were not wearing a uniform, they most certainly would be charged for such lowly crimes.

If you have authority, don't aggravate a volatile situation.  These people need kindness and understanding.  They need communication.  They need to see their properties so they can begin making decisions and moving forward.

Quit riding the ego train and start being part of the solution.  Quit abusing the power of your authority by stealing the few belongings some have left.  Quit destroying property that Mother Nature so nastily abused.  Actually, RCMP Officers, do the world a favor -- pull your heads out of your asses and grow a heart!!!

Parental Responsibility

This subject is nearly as touchy as racism.  Maybe more so.  Yet, I feel compelled to write about it.

My youngest daughter has Type 1 Diabetes.  When she was first diagnosed, my husband and I decided I would stay home and learn to manage this life-long, chronic disease.  I had an okay job with great benefits and good pay, but I was willing to give this up to better support my entire family during this huge learning curve.  After two years, I am back to work part-time.

When I say huge learning curve, I mean it.  You have to learn to poke fingers and interpret blood glucose readings.  Match insulin needs to food requirements.  Learn to make appropriate increases or decreases in insulin to maintain a very fine balance between "good" and "evil" glucose levels.  This disease leads you into one of the hardest juggling acts you will ever perform.  You have to fight a child who doesn't want another needle but must have it to live.  Your heart is often ripped from your chest and stomped on in this constant battle to preserve a decent quality of life for your child. 

With this on-going battle against a disease you have no control over, you must remember to give enough love and attention to your other child or children.  Even though she may understand the medical need, your non-diabetic child needs you just as much as the diabetic child does.  She's emotional, too.  No one likes to watch someone they love suffer.  No one likes to feel someone is more important than they are.  I think a tight-rope would be easier to walk than to maintain this balance.

Don't forget your spouse, either.  They are sad and struggling with this ugliness life dealt our daughter.  An ugliness he can't protect her from.  It's hard.  Hard to carry the weight.  Difficult to turn something so negative into a positive.  Lots of blood, sweat, and tears have been shed in the two years since diagnosis.  Oh, and sleep deprivation, to the point of insomnia.  I rarely sleep a full six hours.

By now, I'm certain you're thinking what does all of this have to do with parental responsibility?  Where the hell is she going with this???

Lately, I have been reading too many complaints about parents with Type 1 children who are upset about the lack of support for their children at school.  They are upset about not being able to have an educational assistant in place to help their child at school.  They are upset when a teacher is a little later testing than is required.  Angry about an educational assistant who made a decision that was incorrect in the treatment of their child's disease.

My first question always is:  are you available to go to your child's school at key points throughout the day?  Many times I receive a "yes", followed by many excuses as to why they can't/don't want to this.  From younger siblings at home; to it's a human rights issue and everything in between.

I'm fully aware not all families can manage this ugly disease the way we have.  I get it's hard to pack up two or three younger siblings a couple times a day.  I even get that it is the right of our children to be safe at school.  I understand the single parent who must work with no one else to rely on.

What I don't understand is my perception of parents insisting on passing their responsibilities to medically untrained educational assistants.  Many of these same parents with complaints like to spout about how Type 1 is a life-threatening disease.  It is.  They like to point out mistakes these assistants make during a treatment and how they would have handled it differently.  Demanding that schools train personnel how to handle this disease in five minutes.

We live, eat, breathe and sleep this disease.  We learn to make decisions based on previous history.  Many decisions are made on gut-instinct alone - with a very sincere hope it was the right choice.  Some of us have been battling diabetes for many years; some for mere months.  How can we possibly expect an educational assistant to learn all they need to know from a half hour meeting at the beginning of the school year?  How can we expect them to make a good decision based on the protocol we have written for them, yet often twist knowing we will achieve the desired result?  We can't.

If you truly want the best care your child can have, I believe parents are the only ones who can deliver this.  We should not be passing it off to someone who doesn't understand - or care - on the same level we do.

If you are unable to go to school to care for your child based on your life's circumstances, then fight for trained medical staff at your child's school -- not for an educational assistant.  I, for one, would not pass this responsibility to a person who has no medical training or real understanding of this chronic, life-threatening disease.  For any reason.  Fight to be welcomed into your child's school to help whenever they need it - a battle I had to fight in another province and won.

Don't complain when someone makes a decision, even if it isn't the right one.  You've chosen to trust them with your child's life-threatening disease because you are unavailable during those hours.  Use it to further educate them.  Make yourself 100% available to give assistance or to answer questions.  Remember how difficult it was to make the right decision in the early days of diagnosis?  Don't criticize those of us who choose to happily deliver the care our diabetic child needs by sacrificing our jobs or choosing to come and go from the school at key times during the day. 

Are you a bad parent because you need help to manage your child's disease?  No.  But neither am I for choosing to be a fully hands-on parent who refuses to delegate the responsibility of my child's life to another because it is their "right".  I get tired of listening to what everyone "thinks" society should be doing for them, rather than what they should be doing to improve society.  We don't need everything legislated.  Our world has too many rules, and it certainly hasn't improved because of it.

Schools have the responsibility to educate.  Parents have the responsibility to keep our children alive and well.  Don't pass that responsibility off so easily.

Happy Moments

Life has a habit of making us feel dragged down, but perhaps it should be interpreted as the kick in the ass we need to move forward.  We've all been there.  A job that makes us unhappy.  Personal circumstances that make us feel "stuck".  Living in a city we despise.  Too many expectations placed on us we cannot live up to.

How do you get out of this vicious circle?  It's a simple question - with no simple answers.

Most of us are in a position where we must support our family.  The job that's been making you miserable must be replaced with one of equal  - or better - measure because we need to pay the mortgage and keep food in our family's bellies.  Maybe you have the experience required to obtain a new position, but your future employer requires the education to back up your experience.  Maybe you want to go into a new field altogether.  Which direction do you choose?  Maybe you take an on-line course or two, preparing yourself slowly for a change you need.  Maybe you're a "head first" kind of person, jump in and hope life will work itself out - because life usually does have a habit of working itself out.  Maybe you have an amazing partner who doesn't mind carrying the financial load while you better yourself.  So many directions to go - no clear answers.

What about those personal circumstances?  Your child is still too young to be left home alone after school, so you've chosen to continue with your part-time job and not take a great, full-time promotion.  Or your kids are almost to college.  You want to re-model the basement but don't want to dip into a college fund.  Maybe your kids are at an age where you are starting to have a bit of freedom again, but you feel guilty for being away.  Or your child has a medical condition, stripping your ability to go away for a vacation without first extensively training someone so your child's quality of life is maintained?  These are the truly hard questions.  After all, we chose to have children; therefore, it is up to us to raise them to the best of our ability.  I envy parents who so easily pass their parental responsibilities to others.

My favorite stressor is the expectations placed on us by family and friends.  The expectation to be perfect.  To show up for every family function, although I'm tired.  Or maybe I'd just like to sit and drink a glass of wine with my hubby.  Friends who get mad at you because you've been too busy to call for a few weeks.

I think we need to remember one simple rule:  life has no happy endings;  only happy moments.  Hold onto the happy moments.  They get you through the rough patches of indecision.

Live, Laugh, Love

This weekend, while celebrating my 89 year old grandfather's life, it was wonderful to see cousins I had not seen for years - many were small children last time.  It was even good to see aunts and uncles, some who formerly criticized my life choices. Some who committed rather unforgivable sins.  Yet, I managed to come to a few realizations about the dynamics of the family.

This side of my family has long been a religious and very judgemental bunch.  Some are very hypocritical in their beliefs; others are not.  It is their very hypocrisy that turned me away from institutionalized religious factions.  This is not to say I have no belief in higher powers, but, rather, that one set of ideals is not the only set to follow.  I have pulled from many different belief systems over the years - both religious and secular - and incorporated them into my own life.  My main beliefs are kindness, tolerance and acceptance.  The thing that amuses me the most is all faiths - Protestant, Catholic, Judaism, etc. - basically believe the same thing.  So this is where I stepped off the cart of organized religion.

I spent many years feeling as though I didn't measure up to the stringent expectations placed on me by my paternal family.  Quite frankly, I avoided all family functions due to this feeling.  This time, I didn't feel that way.  Why?  I am no longer a child in constant need of approval from those I love.  Life has a way of teaching us what truly matters.  It doesn't matter that extended family disapproves of my lifestyle.  It doesn't matter I have often been criticized by them for life choices they disagree with.  It matters only that I made choices to make me happy.  I have a wonderful husband.  Two beautiful daughters.  A great step-son.  I no longer allow outside influences to change the root-deep happiness in my life.

Many of the older generation has not changed very much.  They still judge.  They're hateful to one another.  They are hypocrites, for they preach against the very things they do themselves.  They hold age-old grudges, which I doubt any of them remember the full reason for now.  None of them are willing to discuss their issues calmly, respectfully and move forward from there -- or simply discuss them.  My best realization was this no longer matters to me.  They are who they are.  I accept them, even if I don't respect them.

My other pretty amazing realization was this older generation is seeking the one thing they rarely had in life:  acceptance.  I saw this need in one of my uncle's eyes.  It was so raw, I actually felt a twinge of pain in my heart.  Instead of snide remarks, which I  had felt compelled to make, I teased him, as I had many of the others.  I didn't get a real laugh out of him because he is far too serious a man, but I felt good knowing I tried to make a change in the family dynamics.

We lost my grandfather, but I truly hope the older generation can see what it is they need:  to quit caring so much about the transgressions - real or perceived - of others.  Care about your life, what makes you happy, and move forward.  Forgive, then accept.


Live, Laugh, Love

Free Medical Care?

Free medical care is an oxymoron.  There is no such thing.  Publically funded?  Most definitely.  Funding for the most recent and proven better treatment methods?  Absolutely not.

I am not sure why we Canadians constantly say our medical system is free.  Oh, sure, we don't have to pay out-of-pocket to see our family doctor.  Or make frustrating insurance claims.  Yet, medical care is anything but free.  A portion of our taxes fund this system.  Some provinces pay a small portion each month to their provincial health care.  Not to mention certain medical treatments are not covered "free", but, rather, patients in dire need are charged exorbitant amounts to get well -- or perhaps stay well.  Don't forget the amounts we pay for employer insurance, and the difference not covered by this insurance.

As a parent of a Type 1 Diabetic child, one such example is an insulin pump, averaging $7000.  This price does not include the $600 for monthly supplies, such as:  infusion sets, reservoirs, insulin, and meter strips required to maintain my child's health -- thank goodness for employer benefits!  Many provinces do not fund the cost of an insulin pump that significantly lowers several long-term side effects of Type 1 diabetes.  Not to mention, greatly improves the quality of life for a child with this chronic disease.

Why isn't our medical system providing the lastest and greatest treatments to those who need it?  Why must children suffer through multiple injections per day, simply to stay alive?  Why must cancer victims beggar themselves to receive the best treatment possible to send their disease into remision?  Why are medical treatments and supplies so ridiculously expensive?  Why must those in need involve the media to obtain expensive treatments before the government or drug companies will help?  Why do we give these same treatments to people in our country on refugee statuses for nothing?

This is wrong.  If there is a better treatment, one should not have to sink into abject poverty to receive it.  Or never know the freedom an insulin pump can give their child because of lack of money.  No doubt if Steven Harper's child suffered from Type 1 Diabetes, he'd see to it every child at least had the choice for an insulin pump.  He'd ensure every diabetes clinic - large or small - had an A1C collection system that required a simple finger "poke".  I doubt he'd want to watch his child tense with anxiety, tears running freely, during blood work, if there was an easier way.

Why, then, do we Average Joes, allow this to continue?  Whether we like it or not, our medical system is very much two-tiered.  It's time that changed.  We deserve better.