Addiction: Disease or Choice

A recent newspaper article stating a new drug, Fentanyl, which is one hundred times stronger than morphine or oxy is in town and can be attributed to several recent deaths.  In the online comments, one former addict compared her "disease" to cancer.  Completely, totally, utterly, inappropriate comparison.  This is the claim that got me thinking about whether addiction is a disease or a choice.  Personally, I believe addiction is a choice and I'll explain why.

Addicts, both former and present, swear up and down addiction is a disease.  Not one addict will admit they chose to take that first hit of drugs.  They are all about the excuses as to why they took that first, second or third hit.  Believe me, I've heard my share of sad stories, both from current addicts, former addicts and non-addicts.  Each group has an equal amount of horrible life circumstances, usually beginning in childhood or their early teen years.  One group turns to the self-destructive behaviour of addiction.  The other does not.  How can one group, with the same turn of events in their lives, manage to thrive despite those heartbreaking and terrible events?  Choice.

What is the definition of a disease?

• an abnormal condition of a part, organ or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, inflammation, environmental factors or genetic defect and characterized by an identifiable group of signs, symptoms or both.

By that definition, an addict hasn't got an organ or system issue caused by infection or inflammation.  I'll give them environmental factors, since street and prescription drugs are a part of everyone's environment now.  I'll even give them the genetic defect because I do believe addictive personalities can be -- but are not always -- genetic.  The rest of the definition certainly does not fit an addiction profile.  At least, not in my unprofessional, observation-only opinion.

I've watched several people in my circle go down in flames, due to drug addiction.  Usually hitting the proverbial brick wall several times before they get it together.  Even now, I am standing on the sidelines watching another one go through addiction.  Breaks my heart, watching someone torture themselves with drugs, when I know very well they can make the choice to get clean.  Is it easy to come back from?  Absolutely not.  It requires an inner stubbornness the size of the North American continent -- or larger.  This is choice.

However, I refuse to enable the habit by pitying them, by giving them money, a roof over their heads or allowing them excuses, such as an abusive childhood.  You chose the path you are on.  Choose to get off it by getting professional help.

Until then, I don't want anything to do with you.  Why?  You can't believe a word that comes out of an addict's mouth.  You can't trust them in your home; they'll rob you -- even if you share the same gene pool.  You can talk till you are blue in the face about making good choices, but until the addict is ready, they will NOT change.  The truly sad thing is they play Russian Roulette with their lives each time they feed their addiction.  Addiction is a selfish life choice.

Maybe an addict can explain to me -- again -- how their "disease" can even compare to cancer?  Every choice made by an addict drives them further down this ugly road.  It isn't an illness that sends them down this path.  Just a series of really bad choices.  Someone suggested cancer is self-inflicted by lifestyle choices, such as smoking.  How do you explain the non-smoker who dies of lung cancer, yet never subjected themselves to second-hand smoke?  Explain the long-time smoker who doesn't ever get lung cancer.  How do you explain the child born with leukemia or eye cancer?  What about all the kids diagnosed with ugly and very rare forms of cancer?  Children haven't made any lifestyle choices that cause their cancer.  Some are so young, it wasn't the parents' choices either.

How would you, a recovering addict, explain an auto-immune disease, such as Type 1 Diabetes?  I guarantee there is not one person with Type 1 who did something to "cause" their disease.  No eating of too much sugar.  No lack of exercise.  Auto-immune disease just happens -- and there are many such diseases.  I will also guarantee caring for a person with this chronic, life-long, incurable-to-date disease is extremely difficult and emotionally demanding.  Because this disease doesn't play nice or follow rules.  Nor will it ever go away.

Recovering addicts CAN follow rules -- they choose not to.  It is that very lack of ability to follow rules that get addicts into trouble in the first place.  Wound up on the street because you're an addict who can't hold a job?  Get the shit kicked out of you by the dealer you stiffed?  Can't get any family or friends to take you in?  Why???  Because of a "disease"?  Sorry.  Because of choice.  Every lifestyle issue is driven by choice.  Yours.  Not mine.  Not your parents.  Not because of abuse.  Not because you got dropped on your head as an infant.  Because you CHOSE the path you are on.  And YOU are the only one who can choose to get your shit together.

If you must believe addiction is a "disease" to get your shit together, then fine.  However, I will not agree with that analogy when a few people I know simply decided one day that enough was enough and got clean -- without professional help -- and are still clean, productive members of society to this day.  That, to me, screams choice, not disease.

Instead of blaming every one and every circumstance, own what you have done to yourself and your loved ones.  Own it.  Then change it.

It Takes a Village

I recently read an anonymous declaration from a teacher on one of those social media "confessions" pages about parents who refuse to deal with their drug addicted teenagers.  And claiming these same parents blame her for their children not learning while in her class.  Her comments rubbed me the wrong way.  I'll explain why.

Yes, there are parents out there who seem not to care.  Even stories of parents who allow their teens to smoke marijuana.  On the flip side, how many parents are NOT aware their kids are stoned at school because teachers don't inform them?  I'd be willing to bet fifty percent of the parents have no clue their teens are snorting, smoking, drinking or whatever other dangerous behaviours they choose to do during school hours.  How many of these teens are already on their own -- and have been for a significant number of years?  How many are considering moving out because of whatever instabilities exist in their lives?

My high school daughter constantly tells me how many kids are stoned at school -- on what, she has no idea and steers clear of that whole scenario.   Tells me how many of the kids are from broken homes with parents too busy fighting over this or that to remember their kids need them.  Or the ones with a new step-parent changing the over all family dynamics.  The kids being bounced from one foster home to another.  Doesn't matter the reason -- just that it is happening and these kids feel that NO ONE cares.  It is sad and disheartening to see our future generation resorting to addictive, harmful practices at younger ages.

However, there are more reasons than just parenting -- or the lack thereof -- to raise a child into a mature, responsible adult.  It takes an entire village to raise a child successfully.  In today's society, that is what doesn't happen.  Not to mention a societal concept that drugs -- prescription or street -- are a necessity.  Just watch TV to see how many different drugs are advertised for this or that medical condition.

There is nothing but finger-pointing from all sides.  It has to stop.  I remember when everyone's mother had the right to kick your ass if they caught you misbehaving.  Then they called your mother and you got your ass kicked again when you got home.  And don't even TALK about what the consequences would be if the cops brought you home!  Now, everyone turns a blind eye and is afraid to speak directly to the offenders parents.

Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their kids' behaviours and not always assume their children are angels  -- because they are not.  There need to be consequences for bad behaviour from bullying to just plain rudeness and entitlement.  What parents do need, and often don't receive from the education system, is both sides of a story to appropriately discipline our kids when the issue first arises.  With so many ways to communicate today, this should be easier.

However, teachers need to be held accountable for their actions -- or lack thereof.  I've watched children wrestle in a crowded hallway, with a teacher looking on, and had to break up the kids who were misbehaving before they injured themselves or other kids.  Constantly asked children to quit running in hallways because this simple safety rule is no longer enforced.  Dealt with administrators/teachers who stood by while another child was pushed around and did nothing to stop it until the child being pushed swore at the other kid to make them back off.  Witnessed one teacher refuse a boy a drink of water on an extremely hot field trip day because he had forgotten to bring some.  I provided him water for the rest of the day and educated her as gracefully as possible when she attempted to excuse her behaviour for blatantly mistreating this child.  Fielded an issue at another over night trip with the school where children were disrespecting others by running through their rooms and pawing through others' belongings.  The kids were told to report these incidents to a certain teacher who had requested they go to her, but she was reading a book and couldn't be bothered to deal with this problem.  So I did.

Despite the terrible, uncaring teachers out there, my kids have had the benefit of the truly amazing teachers, too.  You know the ones.  They will sit with your child until a difficult math concept is understood.  The one who makes sure they notify you of ANY concerns academically or behaviour issues encountered.  The teacher who always smiles.  The teacher who constantly volunteers for extra-curricular activities.  The teacher who cares enough to truly listen to both the parents and the children, regardless of their home circumstances, and makes appropriate changes so the child can excel.  These teachers are the ones who make a difference in a child's life, simply by caring enough to go above and beyond their "job description".  They are part of the Village and I commend them greatly.

Please stop pointing fingers and just help those in need.  It isn't parents against teachers.  We should be on the same side.  Be kind.  Be understanding.  Listen and then act.  Care enough to do what you can just to make someone's life better, happier.  Please care enough to be part of the Village.

Education or Class Distinction?

My high school daughter sent me an excited text this morning.  It went like this:  "Hey mom!  The school is having a trip to Peru over the Easter break.  It'll cost $4000 to $5000 and we need $500 up front to hold a seat.  Food and everything is included.  I really want to go."

Instantly, my dander was up.  What is educational about a trip to Peru for a bunch of high school students?  What about the kids whose families can't afford an expense like this?  Because,  realistically, most of us are middle-class -- a lot are low income.  Why do schools want to set class distinctions such as these?  Why do schools want to instill a sense of entitlement in our teens?  Why is a trip like this so costly -- particularly when you go to a travel website and a similar trip, at a four star hotel would cost approximately $2000 for a seven day stay?  Food is not included, but I highly doubt food would cost an extra $2000 to $3000 more for one teenager.  Granted, I don't have all the details of this trip, but there is just so much wrong about it.

First and foremost, it separates the kids whose parents can afford to send them from the ones who cannot; whether it is financially unfeasible -- or because they simply don't want to send their children to a foreign country without being there, too.  I'm the latter.

My heart especially goes out to those kids who simply cannot afford trips like these.  You know the ones:  they won't even ask their parents because they know it can't happen.  There are teens in foster care, teens with single parents living below the poverty line, families with more than one teen and teens who are on their own due to unhappy and/or unhealthy family circumstances.  Who will help these kids save approximately $1,000 per month for the next six months so they can go?  Even if they have a part time job, I doubt they make $1,000 per month.  Let's be honest:  most two-income, middle-class homes can't manage to save that much per month, due to the high cost of living.

I believe the education system is putting unnecessary peer pressure on teens and parents, along with drilling a sense of class distinction into a world that is supposed to be about equality.  There is nothing equal about trips like these.  They are not great opportunities for our kids to see the world.  They are engineered for those with money and the middle-class sheep who will happily beggar themselves so their kids are happy; thereby, creating a sense of entitlement that simply doesn't need to be there -- in any level of society.  School trips should be kept within a two to three hour travel limit and the extent of a weekend.

Want to educate our children?  Send them to work the soup kitchen over their spring break.  Let's teach them the value of the elderly and have them shovel sidewalks or mow lawns.  How about reading to the elderly in the long term care facilities?  How about going to the hospital to cheer up sick children or adults?  Why not teach them to help clean up the city they call home?  Really, it's not horrible to bend over and pick up a paper cup out of the gutter -- or find a garbage can so someone else doesn't have to pick it up.  Why not teach them the value of investing in their community, in people?

Why are we teaching them that spending a small fortune is far cooler than helping those around us?  Help doesn't mean giving people money...  Sometimes a kind smile or word is more helpful than money could ever be.

The public education system is a huge part of the problem by creating inequality, peer pressure, instilling entitlement and general unkindness into our kids with trips like these.  After all, they do have our children for the majority of their waking hours to influence them as they see fit.

Please.  Stop the madness.  Bring back common sense and kindness.  Quit making kids feel like they don't belong because of money.

Peace is Not Irrelevant

The world has watched with a sense of disbelief and horror over the recent terrorist attacks in the Middle East.  From Hamas attacking Israel -- yet again using their own people in the Gaza strip as human shields -- to the Jihadists/ISIS in Syria and Iraq beheading American citizens.

While many of us are not directly affected by these conflicts, we are all indirectly affected by these extremist acts of what equates to ethnic or religious cleansing.  I believe we must all stand up against these terrorists.  It is not an issue of race or religion.  It is an issue of tolerance -- for all beliefs and races. 

I recently watched an amazing video (which I will attach at the end) that explains in some very clear language why we ALL need to stand up against terrorism.  Why we should be loyal to our peaceful countries first, rather than our religion or our race.  It includes historical examples and leaves out the usual political correctness -- which is probably why it keeps getting banned from popular social medias. 

This speech includes so many truths that need to be spread across the world virally.  Please listen openly to this lady's very wise speech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnOF7y-KuHE&sns=em

Why Can't We Numb Stupid with aTwo-by-Four?

How my day began:

One person turned in front of me.  Their light was red.  Mine was green.  I was cruising the speed limit of 50 km/hr.  This driver proceeds to drive 30 km/hr.  Out of necessity, I jammed my brakes on to avoid a collision.  The next light turned red and caught me.  Whew.  Maybe this goofy driver would manage to get through the entire string of lights down town.  Get moving again and change lanes.  Finally get through down town, some goofball is doing 40 km/hr in a 50 zone.  Mirror check, shoulder check, gun it a little -- mostly because I like the sound of my Hemi when I do that!  Slow driver steps on it.  Just enough I can't change lanes back to where I need to be.  Really?  Vehicle turns in front of me so I sped up to get by this imbecile who was intent on causing an accident.  What does she do?  Speed up.  I was seriously wishing for a bumper car.  Bitch would still be crawling out of the woods if I had one, spitting out every damned one of her chicklets.  Not sure why this person thought it was appropriate to play such a childish and dangerous game, but she did. 

Next, on my bad day list:  dealing with the high school.  The good ol' automated phone call came through last night to inform me there was an orientation at the high school for all grade 9 and 10 students.  Cool.  Except the message was rattled off too quickly to grab a pen and write it down.  No warning the message contained information requiring a pen and paper.  Just a computer voice.  My absolute pet peeve.  NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO A COMPUTER!!!  So I called to request the information, plus what their actual first day of school was, due to conflicting information, and clarification if there would be a simpler, easier to follow schedule for students.

Unfortunately, I spoke to a vice principal.  Not sure which one.  Mentioned their message should have some kind of warning that critical information would be in it -- or better yet, have real people call.  Well, they can't POSSIBLY call everyone personally because there are far too many students!!  What did they do before computers???  Maybe they should use their summers to call parents with  this type of information.  Or maybe they should simply include it in the package, along with a well explained schedule.  Next, my request for a more understandable schedule was completely scoffed at.

I'll explain what the schedule looked like.  Every subject for an entire year.  Side descriptions of S1, S2 and Q1, Q2, Q3 and Q4.  Header of B1, B2, B3, B4.  No explanation as to what these short-hand terms meant.  Hmmm.  A little stumped.  A friend gave me a hand:  S1 = semester 1, etc.  Q1 - quarter 1, etc.  Okay.  Makes sense.  I'd almost reached that conclusion on my own.  B1, etc., I had figured as the blocks/periods.  Again, okay.  What time do the blocks start and finish?  Well, let's see....  Flip through other pages in the package, come up with the block times.  But, wait a minute.  There's day one and day two.  So my kid has to carry around two papers, along with her books and binders, just to figure out where she's supposed to be and at what time of the day she's supposed to be there????  Oh, and don't forget there are no bells in high school!!  Very good.  Are the people who make these decisions up sniffing glue or crack?  What ever it is, they should give it up and simplify absolutely everything.

Anyway, back to my conversation regarding the schedules:  I asked if there would be an easier to understand schedule distributed to the students.  No, there wouldn't.  Why?  It's far too difficult to change them now.  All right.  Will it continue to be so poorly constructed next year or are there plans to make it more understandable?  No, probably not since this decision is up to "central" -- whoever that is.  How many times have you been questioned about its lack of simplicity?  Quite a few.  So, let me get this straight.  You've had complaints and concerns about students being able to understand this schedule style.  You are a vice principal, in a position to recommend sensible changes, BUT you aren't going to recommend anything for next year????  No, she had no intention of doing so.  My reply?  No problem.  I'll create one for my daughter and email you the template so it can be implemented next year.  I hung up without so much as a good bye.  After all, there's only so much stupid a person can handle in one day.

It should be made legal to numb stupid with a 2 x 4 or muffle the sound of it with duct tape, at the very least.  Seriously.

Chauvinism

What is up with chauvinistic behaviour being alive and well???

In the day and age where both men and women work outside the home to support their family, chauvinism should be dead and buried.  Instead, it is alive and well, particularly in older generations.  Thankfully, my husband is enlightened.

Why does it even matter that men and women often carry different chores?  Men often do the heavier chores, such as mowing the lawn or repairing vehicles and houses.  Women often do the lighter chores, such as laundry, cleaning and caring for the kids.  However, I know women who do all home repairs because their husbands are incapable.  I also know men who do the majority of the housework.

After so many years of enlightenment, why is there still this angst between the sexes?  Why do men often feel the need to belittle women because they don't work as "hard"?  Just because the physicality of a chore isn't as extreme does NOT mean a woman hasn't worked equally has "hard".

Because they have a penis, do men automatically think they are somehow genetically superior?  What is so spectacular about a penis?  Really?  Without a vagina, the human race dies.

I'm tired of men who think women's lives are so much simpler.  Reality Check: many of the women I know juggle far more chores/activities than men do; whether they are stay at home moms or moms who hold jobs outside of the home.

There is no need to belittle either sex's role in life.  Life is a team game.

Extremism

This week's world events sure make you question humanity.

Hamas fired rockets into Israel, then expected the world to stop Israel from attempting to control the situation by retaliating in a far harsher manner than was used to pick the fight.  This war is so ancient as to be completely ridiculous and proves only that humans stubbornly refuse to change their ways.  Maybe Hamas should learn to quit instigating a battle he can't handle.  Maybe he should learn that ancient beliefs on who the "promised land" of Gaza belongs to are probably false.  Maybe he should do the world a favor and...  Well, that statement is completely inappropriate so I'll keep that thought to myself.

The extremists in Russia shot down a commercial airliner over Ukraine, murdering almost 300 people.  What has the world done to shut them down?  Nothing.  There's been dissension there for many months now.

I simply do not understand extremism.  The majority of extremists have some sort of religion to blame it on.  Islam.  Jihadist.  ISIS.  In historical times, Catholics also murdered Protestants and vice versa.  Extremists may blame their religion, but it is merely a power struggle.  Power to control the world.  To make a certain "god" higher than the rest.  To claim a strip of land an old history book says belongs to one race or another, while belonging to none.

Maybe the world should be full of atheists.  Atheists are generally more pleasant than their religious counterparts - regardless of the belief set.  Atheists don't start wars based on ridiculous, ancient religious beliefs.  They don't get extreme over anything -- except maybe general fairness for everyone.  People are allowed to be who and what they are without judgement; without expectation of conversion to this or that belief.  Too bad there aren't more atheists in the world.  There'd be a lot less war and destruction.

The Foreign Workers' Program Hoopla

This program has been front and centre in the media for a while now, here in Alberta, anyway.  There always seems to be a shortage of workers for the service industry.  Apparently, we have 70,000 foreign workers Alberta wide.  That's a lot of temporary people from other countries, when certain areas of our own country have many unemployed people. 

I think we should "import" our own from other provinces before we bring in others from different countries.  I'd be willing to bet many of these employers haven't even tried recruiting from areas of Canada where unemployment rates are high.  We lived in an Eastern province, with higher unemployment rates.  Never once saw an advertisement workers were needed in the service industry in other provinces while we were there.  I understand (could be wrong) that recruited Canadians are required to pay their own way here, find affordable housing, etc.  These things are done for TFW's.  How is this fair? 

This is why so many Canadians are against the program.  It isn't about race.  Not even the language barrier (although this can be annoying, it isn't the end of the world).  Or the different religious beliefs brought into our country (unless, of course, you expect us to change the fabric of Canada's traditions for them).  After all, many of us stem from immigrants, as well.  It's about unfair treatment.

I constantly hear how Alberta employers have exhausted their resources locally and choose to pursue TFW.  Locally shouldn't be good enough.  If country-wide resources have been exhausted, that's when TFW should be utilized.  Not before.  Plain and simple.  Let's look after our own.

I'm tired of our country helping other countries without being willing to help our own.  Time to change that.

Fuck You, Type 1 Diabetes

This is one of those days I wished T1 diabetes would listen and take a flying leap off the tallest cliff, never to return. 

Go in to wake my daughter for school and she tells me she feels like throwing up. In the T1 camp, this is bad because it can signify the beginning of DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis). DKA is a condition where blood sugars have risen too high and the body starts to break down other tissue to essentially feed the body -- even though there is a lot of glucose (or food) in the bloodstream already but no insulin to help the body process the glucose. 

Mom goes into overdrive, grabs the meter for blood sugar and the meter to test for ketones: blood sugar was 28.5; ketones 3.5. None of those numbers are good. Check infusion site. No longer attached. Shit, shit, shit. Check the cheat sheet and draw appropriate amount of insulin into syringe. Bent the needle. Start again and get it right the second time. Inject my girl. She hates injections. I can't describe the look of resignation and hopelessness on her face when she absolutely must have one. All I know is my heart is ripped out, thrown forcefully on the floor and stomped on by the diabetes giant that controls her body. 

It's now almost eight hours later. Blood sugar is back in range, trace ketones and a girl who is feeling a bit better but still looks awful. 

This doesn't get easier with time; 3 1/2 years in and it still hurts to see my daughter so sick. Hurts a little more every time she gets this sick. Makes me ill to have to watch her suffer. 

But you know what truly bothers me?  I'm in the diabetes world on a sojourn. One day, my girl will grow up and take over full diabetes management. One day, I'll get a break. 

She will NEVER get a break from this fucking disease. It'll be with her forever causing havoc, no matter how skilled she gets at managing it. 

So, today, it's fuck you, Type 1 Diabetes, fuck you. 

The Hierarchy of Equality

The other evening, I went with my oldest daughter to our local high school, which I attended, um, twenty-ish years ago. Shh.  Don't tell people I'm that old, 'cause in my mind I'm still eighteen most days! 

After the information session, she and I wandered the halls.  They've changed very little.  Even the lockers are the same colour.  Yes, really.  I gave a running commentary as we walked:  cool kids' hallway; geeks, nerds and not so smart kids' hallway; middle kids' hallway.  Showed her where my locker was:  geeks, nerds and not so smart kids' hallway.  Now I did this commentary in a funny way.  She giggled and smiled the entire time, but it got me to wondering if the hierarchy has changed.  Is there more equality and less social "class" than twenty years ago?  I questioned my nephews who currently attend this high school; and, no, it has not.  Same hallways.  Just a new generation.  A few different descriptions for the same class of people.

Grande Prairie is -- and always has been -- a city who places high importance on societal status.  You must be from a certain family.  Your family must have certain "things" and live in a certain neighborhood.  Your family must have the appearance of being "moneyed", even if they are in debt past their eyeballs.  You must also know certain business owners or families who have long been in this area.  It doesn't matter if these people are nice.  Or honest.  Kind.  As long as you have met them at least once and can claim an acquaintance with them.

Me?  I've long been a rebel.  I honestly couldn't give a shit to know most of the so-called "cream of society".  Why?  A lot of the ones I have met are not that nice.  They are selfish, dishonest people who are completely happy to throw you to the wolves while saving their own asses to gain financially -- or otherwise -- from doing so.

I have met a few from the "upper crust" who are great people.  Mostly because they don't behave as if they are moneyed or entitled in some way.  They are just genuine, kind people who had to earn what they now have.  The hard way -- with sweat and hard work.  Unlike many who had it passed down to them.

It truly disappoints me to know that Grande Prairie has changed so little in the last twenty years.  Visiting the high school made me acutely aware of this.  Why must we go around thinking we are more entitled than the next guy because of where we live?  How long we've been here?  How much money out mommies and daddies have?  How amazing so-and-so is simply because they are a front-runner in a little society -- yet are a terrible, mean-spirited person out of the public eye?

When will people understand this behaviour will carry on as long as those of us in the "middle" and "bottom" allow it to continue?

There is no equality in society.  Merely an hierarchy as old as the feudal days of the 15th century, with a touch of sentimental "equality" that is never realized.

The more things change; the more they stay the same.

Advocating - Where to start?

My type 1 diabetic daughter recently had a clinic appointment. This appointment consists of a half hour visit with a nurse, dietitian and a paediatrician, respectively. 

I've struggled with this clinic for over a year now, for several reasons. 

First, I have to call them to be seen and there are often very long stretches between appointments. This allows for frustration and higher A1C's because there isn't consistent professional support. The clinic we came from booked us every three months, without my having to chase them.  You also knew when your next appointment was two and a half months in advance. It was great to be able to plan so far in advance. 

The next problem I have with our current clinic is lack of professionalism and knowledge. The nurse we have seen the last few times has asked the most ridiculous questions, leaving me to question -- and trust -- her knowledge of this tricky disease. I'll give you an example of her most recent faux pas:  six months ago, we were struggling with low blood sugars. Changes were recommended (that didn't work and I was left with no support to figure it out). Anyway, she asked me how many changes we made to my daughter's basal (background) insulin rates. Wow. I was flabbergasted. Anyone who deals with this disease knows multiple changes to this rate were made in the last six months. This blatant lack of knowledge certainly does not garner a trusting relationship. 

While we see a paediatrician for these appointments, they don't specialize in endocrinology. The clinic we came from had three. Not only did they specialize, they were also part of a research team for type 1 diabetes. The knowledge base and experience was incredible. If they recommended a change, it worked. 

Our current dietitian is quite helpful, but she's filling a maternity leave. The permanent dietitian is not helpful nor does she seem particularly knowledgeable when questioned. 

Needless to say, we both leave the clinic frustrated, angry and thoroughly disgusted. 

So where does advocacy come into play?  I'd like to see this clinic re-vamped with a paediatric endocrinologist, knowledgeable nurse(s), with one specializing in insulin pumps, and keep the helpful dietitian. I'd like my daughter to be seen every three months and not have to chase anyone for an appointment.  It would be great to be able to call someone -- if only for a second set of eyes -- and have them understand the readings and recommend changes that work. 

We are a growing city that services a large portion of northern Alberta. Our children deserve to have better care -- without having to travel four hours, or more. Many people from our area choose to travel this distance because it is a better clinic. 

But, where to start?  Who are the powers that be who can help see these changes are made?  Is it AHS (Alberta Health Services)?  Who in AHS would I need to speak with?  Or is it someone higher? A provincial health minister? Or maybe the federal health minister?  Maybe it's as simple as contacting someone with the Canadian Diabetes Assiciation?  Anyone out there know?  

I don't know where to start. But I'd sure love to see these changes happen. 

Not Strong; Just Stubborn

One thing I've heard a lot over the years is how strong I am, especially the last three years. I've come to the conclusion inner strength is disguised as pure stubbornness. Now I'll tell you why.

There've been many incidents over the years where people have admired my strength, but none quite so much as when I describe the surface life as the mom of a child with Type 1 Diabetes.  Details are pointless, unless you also have walked a mile in these shoes. 

Tired doesn't describe D-parents. Exhaustion does. Unmitigated, complete exhaustion. Until you feel like you have no soul, nothing to give. Take the last two weeks, for example. There's not been one night where I've gotten a full night's sleep. Highs, lows but nothing in the happy zone.  No numbers I'm willing to sleep through without at least one check. Make adjustments; more highs and lows. I get up every morning, get the kids ready, drop them at school, go to work for six hours and come home to start the afternoon and evening routine. Strength or pure stubbornness?

Stubborn. Why? Only pure determination can keep you doing what needs to be done when you are beyond tired. 

Most of what I know about T1, I've researched myself or learned from other D-parents. The so-called professionals I work with where we live are basically useless to me. When I ask for help, the common response is:  sounds right. Ooookay. Do you have suggestions of changes I should make to smooth out the bumps we are having? Well, you could try this or that and see what works.  Would've never guessed that. Which change should I choose? Please. Give me a little support. So I keep finding new resources, new books to read and learn from others who've been there. Teaching my daughter how to care for herself, without causing long-term side effects is a huge part of a D-mom. Constant sense of failure when her A1C is not in range, even though you worked your tail off. Strength or stubborn?

Stubborn. Again, you gotta keep moving forward. 

Many people are under the impression I'm calm, smart, strong. No one realizes I'm none of those things. I'm just like you. I just don't verbalize my angst because it solidifies the ugliness. No. I'm merely stubborn. 

It's what gets me through. Gets me up in the morning; sometimes with a smile, sometimes not. Keeps me looking after my beautiful girls and husband. Keeps me from "losing it", although I do melt down occasionally for a day or two, pick myself up, dust myself off and keep moving. 

Inner strength is just a nice way of saying you are stubborn as hell. 

Anti-Bullying Awareness Day

A friend of mine made a thought-provoking status wondering how wearing pink prevents bullying.  There were many comments under his status of kids who have been bullied.

Bottom-line?  A colour changes nothing. All it brings is awareness to a growing societal issue.  Unfortunately, I believe we've taken away our children's right to defend themselves with the zero tolerance for physical violence.  The child being bullied gets suspended right alongside the bully if there is a physical altercation.  This is wrong.  There should be no consequences for defending yourself.  Particularly if the school has been made aware of the situation. 

My youngest daughter had an issue in grade 6 that progressed from innocent disagreements to a nasty, little bully hitting the brick wall of this mom, but  later attempted many underhanded ways to get even.

It began with the odd jealous text when my daughter would be hanging out with other friends.  This girl lived in a different neighbourhood and couldn't simply walk over to play.  Finally, after several such texts, each one nastier, my daughter reacted by telling her to quit being a jerk.  That's it.  The truthful comment that started it all.  My daughter ignored her texts for the rest of the day.  Proper thing.

The following morning, this kid begins to "spam" text my girl.  She started with an apology but when Darian didn't reply, she went back to the jealous texts.  Darian brought her phone to me.  I identified myself, asking her to stop.  This child had the gumption -- if not the brains -- to continue her dialogue with me.  I refused to respond and called her mother to request that her child knock it off.  While the child no longer texted my girl, this is not where the story ends.

She continued at school by attempting to draw other kids into her hatred towards my daughter, until her mother accosted me in the hallway after school saying her child was coming home in tears because mine was being mean.  All right.  I told her I'd investigate.  Meanwhile, both of our girls came over to wait for the conversation to finish.  This girl got upset with me, saying she was sorry and didn't understand why Darian no longer wanted to be friends.  Really???

This is a little pearl of wisdom all parents should pass on to their children, and I passed it on to this young lady that day:  Saying you are sorry doesn't erase the hurtful things you have done.  Your actions will.  And your actions have not changed.  It was at this point, her mother hung her head and the conversation ended.

After that, I did my research.  I spoke to kids, teachers and the vice-principal.  NONE of them had seen -- or heard -- anything my child had supposedly done or said.  The next time she lashed out at my child at school, it was dealt with on a higher level until she quit attempting to get at Darian directly.  However, there were a couple other girls who attempted similar stunts because of the original altercation, and they were shut down without involving the school, parent-to-parent.

You know the truly sad part of this story?  This young lady continues these antics with other kids, while her parents sit idly by, assuming it is the other child's fault.  They are completely unwilling to acknowledge their daughter has issues.  They are unwilling to give her discipline.  Ultimately, this girl is the one who will be hurt.  She will become a mean-spirited adult who thinks she can do exactly as she pleases.  That hurting others is okay as long as she gets what she wants.

Bullying begins at home with a lack of consequences and parental awareness.

Parents, please involve yourself with your kids.  Know what's going on.  Sit and watch them in their group when they are unaware of your presence.  Don't assume your child is an angel.  Be aware of their faults, strengths and weaknesses.  

Sometimes kids DO need to solve their own issues.  But don't let them try to handle these types of situations alone with only a school system for back up. After all, schools have limited disciplinary measures.  Don't be afraid to jump in feet first and deal with it parent-to-parent before your child is driven to desperate measures.  Better a little confrontation than a tragedy. 

The Love of Hockey

In Canada, there is one single sport drawing nearly all of us with its brilliant flame -- hockey.  Some of us don't follow it religiously.  Many do.  Some merely follow the NHL play-off games.  Some only pay attention to Olympic hockey.  Any way you look at it, Canadians love their hockey and will get involved on some level to cheer for our players.

The recent Olympic Games are a perfect example of that.  The games we relish the most are against the United States of America -- there were over a million of us watching the Canadian vs. USA games on Thursday and Friday.  At work.  In malls.  In bars.  Home.  Wherever we could get the game.  There's a couple reasons for this intense rivalry.

First and foremost:  it's our game.  The first organized game was played in Montreal in the late 19th century.  We've owned this game for many years -- until USA figured out how to maintain ice in their warmer States and realized it was a multi-million dollar adventure.

Second:  USA is like the oldest sibling who is used to winning.  Used to receiving more accolades.  Used to looking down their noses at the rest of the siblings because they are bigger and stronger.

Third:  Canada is like the youngest sibling, if you will.  We are the nice, little pain in the ass.  The jokester.  The fun country who willingly helps others without causing war and strife -- and for this we are often lauded as a very pleasant people.  In fact, other countries often remark on the fact Canadians are too nice.  My reply has always been they have not pissed us off yet.  We don't fight unless we can back it up, then we will quietly kick your ass -- with a smile.  Yet another tribute to us.  We do just about everything with a smile.  After all, life was meant to be enjoyed.

The other part of hockey we love, is the after-game ribbing.  We good-naturedly tease and torment one another with some vicious slams.  There are crying towels to be "thrown" at our opposition.  There's better luck next time because we know -- at some point -- our favorite team is going to triumph over yours.  We enjoy our verbal tormenting of one another -- win or lose.  We've got the comments worked out in our heads already -- win or lose.  Why?   It's all a part of hockey culture.  Our game.

Unfortunately, Americans take our game far too seriously.  They don't have fun with it -- it's only about the win.  Which is why they hit the brick wall of Canada's hockey team, even though most of their best players are trained here, on Canadian soil, by Canadian coaches.

Both games were absolutely amazing -- particularly the women's.  USA was kicking our asses -- until the last few minutes of the third period where we miraculously tied it up and stole it out from under them in over time.  The US goalie threw her stick off to the side.  You won't see Canadians pull this kind of poor-sport antic.  We may be pissed that we lost, but we will smile and say "good game".  There was also the alleged incident in the 2002 Olympics where the US women were said to have thrown our flag on the locker room floor and stomped on it.  Our reply was "would you like us to sign it for you?"

Humor is Canada's crowning character.

After this amazing game between the women, the men were up to play against USA.  It was a running joke on social media the men needed to play like girls.  And play like the girls, they did.  They held a 1-0 lead for most of the game.  It was a beautiful game.  No matter which side of the border you sit on.

This is where the difference between Canadians and Americans becomes crystal clear.  Canadians were still having fun with this -- in true Canadian style.  We threw insults out there such as:  how do you make an American cry?  Canadians win.  Again!!  And, USA got their heavy metal colours mixed up; forgot which colour was the best one.  Among so many others it's impossible to count.

Unfortunately, Americans sulk when they lose.  They say nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  There were no good-natured rants that came our way.  No replies to any of our ribbing.  No smart-mouth comments.  No "we'll get you next time".  Not even a "good game".  Nothing.  Only silent pouting...  No doubt, their social media is full of insults -- but they don't have the balls to direct them at any Canadians.  Why?  They know we are full of good-natured slams.  They know we taught them this game.  They know it belongs to us.  They know we will win the verbal assault -- just like we did the Olympic hockey game.

To which I say:  that's the game; suck it up, Princess!

Because, after all, it is just a game.  It's not a war that MUST be won.  (By the way, in the war of 1812, Canadians kicked American ass back to the White House and burned it.)

These were two spectacular games with nothing to be ashamed of.  Canadians never forget this.  It's still fun -- win or lose.  That's what games are meant to be.  It's something USA citizens need to learn...

So the next time Canadians kick your asses, don't pout.  Don't go silent.  Step into the circle, face off and learn how to have fun.

"Drop-In" Clinic???

This week, I took my fourteen year old daughter to a "drop-in" clinic because she was suffering from a sinus infection.  Our family doctor is away for several more days so I was unable to take my girl there.

Anyway, we get to the "drop-in" clinic around 3:30, which isn't really late in the day.  The first question we were asked was "do you have an appointment?"  Well, hmm.  Nope.  I was under the impression this is a drop-in clinic.  They claim to be.  They just book appointments and have a cut-off time for accepting more drop-in patients.

In my mind, you are not a "drop-in" clinic if you book appointments.  Appointments defeat the purpose.  If you were actually wondering if we had already checked in, then word your question differently so there's no confusion, frustration or annoyance. I also understand you must have a "cut-off" time for accepting patients or the clinic would be open twenty-four hours.

They directed me to a new drop-in clinic that is only open from 5 p.m. until 9 p.m.  It was approximately an hour till they opened, so my daughter and I cruised by the location.  They had one enormous sign on an office building with multiple offices.  Not ONE sign on the door we needed to go in when the time arrived.  Really???  Are we just supposed to pick one and hope for the best?

Now, I'm beyond annoyed.  I'm just plain ol' pissed.  This is why I rarely do the "right" thing of going to a drop-in clinic and head straight to the emergency room.  We wasted forty-five minutes when we could have been waiting at the hospital.  Forty-five minutes off the over-all treatment time.  Forty-five minutes with no frustration, annoyances or anger.  Forty-five minutes neither of us will ever get back.

We were in the emergency room for approximately two hours.  Start to finish.  They have a "fast-track" area that speeds simple cases through.  The emergency room did a great job.  Thank you.

To all the rest of you so-called "drop-in" clinics:

#1:  Don't advertise yourself as a drop-in clinic if an appointment needs to be booked.

#2:  Put your damned sign on the door so people can find you.

Crazy World

Crazy world?  Just a little. 

Our society has become all about gossip and cruelty.  All you gotta do is hop on the internet to find the latest bit of nastiness about your favorite -- or not so favorite -- celebrity.  You can see updates of your friends -- or not so good friends -- at the click of a button.  Then, you can sit and judge every last single one of them, favorably -- or not.

This morning's topic?  Justin Bieber.  First, there's the petition in at the White House to have him "kicked out" of the U.S. because of his latest stunt.  Personally, they'd be silly to boot him out.  I'm sure he pays several million in taxes each year.

The media -- and every comedian out there -- is having a field day with this.  From photo-shopped pictures making him look like Miley's twin; to smart-ass remarks about making the States keep him 'cause they broke him.  Now, don't get me wrong -- a few of these made me laugh.  I'm not immune to ridiculous comments when they tickle the funny bone.

A local radio station put a question out for a vote to ban his music from it.  Not really that cool.  Why?  Many reasons, but I'll just make three.

#1 -- He's a kid.  Can you honestly sit and look at yourself in the mirror and claim to have done nothing stupid?  EVER???  We've all done stupid stuff, particularly at that age.  Most of us won't admit to it.  However, NONE of us were under the microscope of the paparazzi and media frenzy this kid is.

#2 -- Censorship is a bad thing.  By banning his music, isn't that essentially what we are doing?  We aren't a communist country, last time I looked.  So what difference does it make if we play his music?  Oh, yeah.  None.  We don't have to like him or what he does.  Let's face it.  For every music artist out there who has been a total screw up, we'd have to ban an awful lot of music.  Right back to Elvis Presley.

#3 -- The media constantly gives him free advertising by focusing on his downfalls -- he's probably not even as bad as they make him out to be.  People buy more music.  His name is in the fore-front so no one can forget.  Excellent marketing tactic, I say.

Society has such a cut-throat, judgemental attitude these days, amplified by all social medias.  People feed off of controversy.  If his behaviour "offends" you, then get off the media train.  Ignore it, but for god's sakes, don't feed it if you are against it.

Educate Yourself

Most people know my youngest daughter has Type 1 Diabetes.  Our third anniversary of dealing with this disease is coming up at the end of this month.  Normally, I'm not an over-the-top, in-yo'-face sort of mom.  Especially now that my daughter is at an age where she is more and more capable of caring for herself and her chronic disease.

However, I read a few comments recently from a man named Roger Bezanis who is practicing a paleo diet and scientology.  His comments were spectacularly rude, suggesting Type 1 Diabetes is a figment of the entire medical community's imagination.  That parents were completely gullible and brainwashed; therefore, allowing the medical community to treat, rather than "cure" this chronic disease.  He also claimed that a "de-tox and eating clean food" would cure Type 1.  Normally, I don't allow ridiculous statements such as these to bother me, but the blatant ignorance of his statements led me to believe he needs some serious education as to what this disease actually is.

For those of you who don't know what Type 1 Diabetes is, it's an auto-immune disease that causes your body to kill the cells in the pancreas that produce insulin.  Meaning, without insulin therapy, these people will die because their bodies CANNOT produce insulin.  The sugar gets "stuck" in the blood stream, if you will, without insulin to help it exit the blood stream.

Using a "detoxification" process will not cure my daughter.  The cells that produce insulin are no longer there.  I seriously doubt detoxifying her body will allow those cells to miraculously regenerate.  A "clean diet" won't cure her either.  Even with a "clean diet", there are a certain number of carbohydrates consumed, which your body will turn to glucose (sugar).  Without insulin, glucose will not enter her blood stream essentially starving her while her blood sugar climbs, causing a very serious condition called diabetic-ketoacidosis.  Diabetic-ketoacidosis is a condition where the body begins to break down fat for food.  It causes vomiting, dehydration, odd breathing and finally coma.

It is in this state my daughter was diagnosed.  She didn't have the common "call signs" of diabetes -- excessive thirst and urinating and/or weight loss.  Nope.  The evening before she was diagnosed she chugged two litres of apple juice, claiming to still be dying of thirst.  The following morning, she was throwing up.  As she was nine at the time, I chalked it up to a stomach flu.  By late afternoon, I realized it wasn't your run-of-the-mill flu.  She had literally shrunk before my very eyes -- by approximately ten pounds.  Yes.  Ten pounds.  The dehydration had become so severe, she looked like an eighty-year old woman.  Her eyes were black and sunken into the sockets.  Nothing -- I repeat, nothing -- stayed down.  Not water.  Not gingerale.  Nothing.

At the emergency department, I carried my child in, holding her because she was unable to stand on her own.  There was a woman in front of us, crying as she spoke to the triage nurse.  She was a new mom of a two-month-old baby and suspected she was suffering from post-partum depression.  To my everlasting shame, I remember thinking "Suck it up, Princess.  My baby is really sick and needs help."  In fact, only moments later, I pushed my way through the double doors into the emergency room, explaining my daughter's symptoms as we entered.  Three doctors and multiple nurses grabbed her and took her to a stretcher at the end.  By the time my oldest daughter and I reached her stretcher, one of the doctors asked me how long she'd been diabetic.  I can't describe the absolute shock and devastation I felt.  There are no words.

My husband finished work and broke down when he saw our daughter so ill, lying on that stretcher.  He took our oldest daughter home, who was exceptionally distraught seeing her little sister was so sick.

I spent nearly twenty-four hours in the emergency room with her.  Watching them draw blood from her little arm every hour or two.  Watched them struggle to start another I.V.  Watched a little life come back into her cheeks as her body became hydrated once more.

Life was hell for a few months after her diagnosis.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm not going to make this diagnosis and adjustment period sound nice.  It wasn't.  Heck, we still have days where each and everyone of us hate this damned disease.  It's just that our coping skills have grown and matured.

Unfortunately, this man's blatant ignorance and claims to "cure" this life-long, chronic disease made all of my coping skills hit the floor -- the basement floor, actually.  It belittled every step forward we had gained.  Demeaned the struggle my daughter has had just to live.  Get that?  Just.  To.  Live.  If he had been in the room with me, he would have been well and truly educated.  Just not in a manner to compliment me.

My message to people like this is to educate yourselves.  Don't assume you know everything there is to know about a medical condition or how to "cure" or treat it -- unless you've walked a mile in the disease's shoes.  I'm not saying alternative medicine doesn't have it's place in this world.  But, be careful what you preach when your knowledge base is limited.

And finally, if you must critique, for god's sakes, BE KIND.  There was absolutely, positively, NO EXCUSE for the rudeness Roger Bezanis used.